IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some people think students should learn more practical courses like computer but others think they should learn more about theoretical courses like geography and mathematics discuss both views and give your opinion.

The table gives information about how often Scottish adults of different ages did cultural
activities
Use synonyms
. It shows the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 who took part in different types of
activities
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the 16-24 age
group
Use synonyms
 did the most cultural
activities
Use synonyms
, and doing performances was the most popular thing. Computer
activities
Use synonyms
 were the least popular for all ages. For the 16-24 year olds, taking part in performances like dancing or singing was the highest, at 35%.
This
Linking Words
 was much higher than the 25-44
group
Use synonyms
 at 22% and the 45-74
group
Use synonyms
 at 17%. The youngest
people
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 had the highest percentage for visual arts, with 30% doing them.
Also
Linking Words
, 17% of them did writing, which was more than the older groups.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, older
people
Use synonyms
 aged 45-74 liked crafts the most
at
Punctuation problem
, at
show examples
 22% of them did crafts, but only 11% of the youngest
people
Use synonyms
 did. Buying cultural things was about the same for all the age groups, with percentages from 11% to 18%. Computer
activities
Use synonyms
 were the lowest
overall
Linking Words
. Only 6% in each age
group
Use synonyms
 did computer
activities
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Plan a clear start. Say what data you will talk about and then show it in order.
coherence
Keep one idea per paragraph and start each with a short topic line.
task response
Finish with a short end line to sum up the data.
coherence
Use simple links to show the steps, like first, next, and then.
data use
Good use of data from the table to back up points.
introduction
Clear overview sentence at the start.
structure
The text has a good order and use of link words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: