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Writing Samples
Band 7

"Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion."

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Some people argue that graduating from
university
Use synonyms
 is a huge opportunity to be hired by a good company,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that communicative abilities and life experience are more essential. Personally, I side with the latter view, as I believe that nowadays networking and collaboration skills are more beneficial. One commonly held belief is that a
diploma
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
university
Correct article usage
a university
show examples
 provides many opportunities to find a great job.
This
Linking Words
 perspective is based on the idea that the
diploma
Use synonyms
 is evidence that the candidate has certain knowledge suitable for
this
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specialty
Change the spelling
speciality
show examples
.
Moreover
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, employers are able to check the academic performance of the candidate and draw a conclusion about their capabilities.
Such
Linking Words
 a belief encourages more individuals to complete higher education. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in Kazakhstan, where students are highly driven to gain admission to
university
Use synonyms
 and successfully complete their degree.
This
Linking Words
 explains why
this
Linking Words
 opinion remains popular among students. One compelling argument in favour of the opposite view is that social competencies and real-world knowledge are highly valued in the modern world.
This
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 is largely
due to
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 the era of technology, where people are losing their ability to communicate and are more focused on completing their daily tasks.
In addition
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 century, more professions have appeared that require both emotional intelligence and soft skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a large company had to choose between two candidates—an individual who has a
diploma
Use synonyms
 and a person with strong communication abilities—it would likely prefer to hire the second one. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 some people view a
university
Use synonyms
diploma
Use synonyms
 as evidence of academic knowledge, others emphasise that in the present day, networking and soft skills are more necessary for modern professions, which I completely agree with.

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task achievement
Consider elaborating a bit more on the importance of soft skills in the job market, perhaps by providing specific examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that all your points are clearly connected. Although your ideas flow nicely, having clearer transitions between the arguments presented in both paragraphs could enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and states your opinion effectively.
task achievement
You provide solid arguments for both perspectives, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
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