IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

As the country develops, does the benefit of car popularization to individuals outweigh the harm to the environment?

The proliferation of private vehicles in developing nations has sparked debates over whether individual benefits outweigh ecological costs.
While
Linking Words
 automobiles undoubtedly enhance mobility and convenience, their environmental repercussions necessitate urgent mitigation measures. On the one hand, private cars significantly improve
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of life. Commuters gain unparalleled flexibility with access to door-to-door transportation, eliminating reliance on rigid public schedules^^1^^. Road trips
further
Linking Words
 enrich personal experiences, fostering family bonding and cultural exploration. Economically, the automotive industry generates employment opportunities and stimulates technological innovation, exemplified by the rapid adoption of electric vehicles^^1^^.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the environmental toll is alarming. Internal combustion engines exacerbate global warming through greenhouse gas emissions,
while
Linking Words
 habitat destruction from road expansion disrupts ecosystems^^1^^. Oil spills and particulate pollution
also
Linking Words
 pose direct threats to public health.
Although
Linking Words
 infrastructure improvements may alleviate congestion, they cannot offset the cumulative ecological harm. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 cars empower individuals, their unchecked proliferation
jeopardizes
Use the right word
jeopardises
show examples
 sustainable development. Governments must
incentivize
Use the right word
incentivise
show examples
 green alternatives through carbon pricing and urban planning to balance progress with environmental stewardship.

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overview
The essay has a clear view and a good plan. It talks about both sides and ends with a view.
content
Try to add some facts or numbers to back each idea. For example, give simple data on cars, pollution, or costs.
structure
Keep long ideas short. Use one idea per sentence and use common words to make it easy to read.
content
Clear stance and balanced view with a plan to solve the problem.
structure
Good use of linking words like on the one hand, conversely, and in conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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