IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that all popular TV entertainment programmes should aim to educate viewers about important social issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Some people say that every famous
TV
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amusement
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entertainment
show examples
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programmes
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programme
show examples
 should focus
to teach
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on teaching
show examples
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audience
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the audience
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 about
essensial
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essential
 social
problems
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.
This
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 essay totally disagrees with
this
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 statement. I strongly believe that
in
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apply
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the world has
speacial
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special
programmes
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 to announce the
problems
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 connected with social
to
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issues to
show examples
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audience
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the audience
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 and teach them how to solve these
problems
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. The
TV
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amusement
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programmes
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 which interest every viewer with their interesting shows, challenges, and news, shouldn't show the social
difficultes
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difficulties
 to their
audience
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. Because, as the format of their
TV
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programm
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program
 says "
Amusement
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 ", they offer only gorgeous things to
who
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those who
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sits
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sit
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 on the sofa to watch their lovely
TV
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programm
Correct your spelling
program
instead
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 of
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 time
to
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on
show examples
 another healthy thing.
For example
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,
any
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in any
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 point of the world, you can find any kind of
the
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apply
show examples
programms
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programs
 which teach
to
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apply
show examples
their
audience
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 about social
problems
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,
sport
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sports
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 news, jokes, films,
amusements
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and amusements
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.
Such
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 as
TV
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amusement
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programmes
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, they shouldn't teach
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audience
Correct article usage
the audience
show examples
 about essential things,
to
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for
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such
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 staff, there are compulsory and special
TV
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programmes
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 to teach
some
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apply
show examples
people who
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
show examples
about
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apply
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such
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 things.
For example
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, my uncle
who
Punctuation problem
, who
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 has
a
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such a
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such
Linking Words
 popular
TV
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fun
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program
programm
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 in our
coutry
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country
, one day, he received more
hates
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hate
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 from the
audience
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 of his
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programm
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program
 about the social and
crusial
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crucial
 problem of the air in Almaty, he wanted to announce the main thing
how
Punctuation problem
, how
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 to keep our
contry
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country
 clean eternal.
After
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this
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 situation, he regrets
yet
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it yet
show examples
. In conclusion, entertainment
programmes
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 are created mainly to amuse, not to educate. There are already specific shows and platforms designed to raise awareness about serious social issues, and mixing the two may confuse or alienate the
audience
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.

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planning
Plan your essay. State your view at the start, then list main points in order.
organization
Keep only one main idea per paragraph. Make each paragraph have a clear topic sentence.
language
Use simple and exact words. Avoid long, confusing sentences.
task response
The writer has a clear position.
coherence
There is a use of some real life example and personal touch.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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