IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kid of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Many countries are facing a major health concern
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of their
people
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's fast
food
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 consumption.
This
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 has
striked
Correct your spelling
struck
 a debate among groups who believe authorities should increase the
tax
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 brackets for these
food
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 items and others who think
this
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 is totally unnecessary. I strongly believe
this
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 is an essential step government should take to support their
people
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. Most
people
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 depend on fast foods because it is very cheap and its easy accessibility. Since the
food
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 is very cheap
children
Punctuation problem
, children
show examples
, especially teenagers and
adults
Punctuation problem
adults,
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 buy
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
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 processed
food
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 during
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 breaks
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, subsiquently
show examples
subsiquently
Correct your spelling
subsequently
 creating a dependency on
these
Fix the agreement mistake
this
show examples
 processed
food
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, the University of
Stranford
Correct your spelling
Stanford
 during their research proved that over 60
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
percent
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per cent
show examples
 of
people
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 in America are addicted to fast
food
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.
This
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 should be taken very seriously by the governments around
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 and hopefully increased
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tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 would help regulate
this
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 dependency of
people
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.
However
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, some
people
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thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
 their lives are easier and
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
 more
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
due to
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 fast
food
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. As the name suggests, most of the fast
food
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 chains are in every nook and
canny
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cranny
show examples
 of the cities.
For example
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, Mc Donald is one of the multi billionare companies in the world and its growth was faster than we can ever imagine. The company claims that they even have regular customers, who eat all the three meals of the day from their drive through or from the store.
Therefore
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, imposing a higher
tax
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 might
promote
Verb problem
prompt
show examples
 them to make their
food
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 healthier. In conclusion, we cannot ask
people
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 to not depend on easy and viable options, in
this
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 fast paced world. I firmly believe it is the goverment's responsibility to introduce ways to protect their
people
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 from all the possible dangers of life specifically, health problems.
Thus
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, higher
tax
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 brackets might be the only solution to help its
people
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Make your view clear in the first lines and keep it as you write. Do not change your mind part by part.
coherence
Plan the text in three parts: idea, why, and a stat word or fact. Use one main idea in each paragraph and tie each to the next.
language
Use short, plain words. Check spell and form of big words. This helps read and keep dots small.
examples
Use a real, small fact or fact you know. Do not say big facts that may be wrong.
structure
The essay gives a clear view and has a basic plan of intro, body, and end.
content
There is attempt to discuss both sides and then show your view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Prevalence
  • Deterrent
  • Consumption
  • Revenue
  • Public health initiatives
  • Lower-income populations
  • Government intervention
  • Taxation
  • Nutrition
  • Sedentary lifestyles
  • Junk food tax
  • Access
  • Affordability
  • Health issues
  • Fair means
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