IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Access to clean water is a basic human right. Therefore, every home should have a water supply that is provided free of charge. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Clean
water
Use synonyms
 supply is deserved by not only the upper class but
also
Linking Words
 the
lower tier
Use the right word
lower-tier
show examples
people
Use synonyms
. I am of the view that the
obliagtion
Correct your spelling
obligation
 to pay for
such
Linking Words
 a basic need should vary
according to
Linking Words
 the financial stability of
people
Use synonyms
 and the location
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 their home is based
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. My essay will discuss
further
Linking Words
 on these factors mentioned. In order to
charge
Use synonyms
 homes for a healthy supply of
water
Use synonyms
, one should definitely take into account
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their occupation and the no. of earning members in the family
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 determines their financial stature.
For instance
Linking Words
, a wealthy family has more than the capability of satisfying all their needs and wants
so
Punctuation problem
, so
show examples
 they definitely should be charged for it
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
show examples
 a struggling family
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 suffers on a daily basis in order to make ends meet should be given
this
Linking Words
 supply free of
charge
Use synonyms
, as it is a human right to help the
underpriviledged
Correct your spelling
underprivileged
people
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, both these
class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
 are subjected to appropriate situations in order of their income.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, another element
thats
Correct your spelling
that
 must be highlighted is the area where their home is situated
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. A posh locality has unarguably
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
access to modern and
high quality
Use the right word
high-quality
show examples
 facilities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is not the case in average areas, especially slums.
For example
Linking Words
, those who live in
high class
Use the right word
high-class
show examples
 areas in
Correct article usage
the gulshan
show examples
gulshan
Fix capitalization
Gulshan
show examples
 area have to provide a service
charge
Use synonyms
 for their
water
Use synonyms
 supply
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 just close to them is
Korail
Correct article usage
the Korail
show examples
 slum, a home of a large no. of slums
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 is immensely polluted and clearly does not have a basic
water
Use synonyms
supply
Punctuation problem
supply,
show examples
 let
one
Use the right word
alone
show examples
 clean.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, they still have to pay a considerable amount, which should be modified so that they get a good
water
Use synonyms
 supply from the service
charge
Use synonyms
 of the rich
people
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, everyone will
be benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 if both the criteria of their status and their area of residence
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 paid heed to
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 would eventually lead to fulfilling their human rights. As a society, we should try our utmost best to ensure that these things are given attention to
as well as
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
carried out properly.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Make your main view clear at the start and keep it the same all through the essay.
structure
Divide your essay into clear parts: intro, a body about money, a body about place, and a short end.
content
Give one or two strong examples for each reason.
language
Use simple words and check spelling of key words.
coherence
Use linking words to show how ideas fit together and to show results.
language
Check grammar and try shorter sentences.
strength
You show a clear view on the issue.
strength
You use two main ideas: money and place to back up your view.
strength
You give an example from real areas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • basic
  • human
  • right
  • water
  • supply
  • provided
  • free
  • charge
  • agree
  • disagree
  • health
  • essential
  • sick
  • diseases
  • supports
  • education
  • children
  • focus
  • learning
  • searching
  • better
  • futures
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • families
  • save
  • money
  • spend
  • important
  • needs
  • promote
  • equality
  • chance
  • access
What to do next:
Look at other essays: