Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

In the modern era there is a common belief that if
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
are not nurtured properly in society , their
parents
should take into consideration
this
responsibility.
However
, other individuals surmise that
this
kind of misbehaviour does not affect the procreator's conducting style. I personally believe that
while
parents
play a pivotal role in a youngster's life , upbringing impairments are not mainly the result of their mother and father's problems. On the one hand , those who believe that procreators have an indispensable role in
children
's upbringing and moral development , advocate that if there is any misbehaviour in the son and heir's actions,
this
misconduct is mainly the
parents's
Remove the s
parents'
show examples
sin
due to
their foremost responsibility on supervise the adolescents. To be more specific ,
parents
are responsible for instilling values , setting boundaries , and teaching appropriate behaviour in teenager's life.
Therefore
, when
children
behave badly , these abnormal actions will be associated with their parent's behaviour style.
On the other hand
, I personally believe that those who blame merely
parents
for a child's misbehaviours overlook certain influencing factors ,
such
as peers , school environment ,and society which can reshape and transform individuals into different personalities.
Furthermore
,
children
have been accepted as independent personalities in society ;
therefore
, they need to make some decisions individually even though these decisions could be wrong or trigger deleterious repercussions .
While
parents
can influence young men's opinions, they can not regulate their every move and aspect of life precisely.
For example
, there are some
parents
who work in a five-to-nine job which will not give them a chance to control and pursue every move of their
children
;
therefore
,
this
sense should come from not only the child's own mind but
also
understanding. In conclusion , I believe that
although
parents
play an indispensable role in
children
's lives by reshaping and conducting them , it is not true to associate any adverse behavioural attitude with
parents
' responsibility.
Submitted by Name_1234 on

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Task Response
For task response, ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the question. You did well in covering both sides of the argument and concluding with your opinion. However, adding more specific examples to support your points could make your argument stronger. Consider real-life situations or statistical data that relate to bad behavior in children and the role of parents or other factors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion which is good for coherence. To improve cohesion, work on varying your transitional phrases between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Also, pay attention to paragraph structure: begin with a topic sentence, follow up with supporting sentences, and conclude with a summarizing or transitional sentence.
Coherence and Cohesion
To further develop coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This can be achieved by referencing ideas from the previous paragraph at the beginning of the new one. Additionally, maintaining a consistent tone and style throughout the essay will aid in making your essay more cohesive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • environment
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • influence
  • negate
  • individuality
  • act out
  • external factors
  • peer influence
  • broader societal issues
  • solely
  • community
  • social institutions
  • overly accountable
  • stress
  • unfair blame
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