IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the bar chart show numbers of whales , seals and dolphins recorded in the gormez straits in both 2006 and 2018.

the bar chart show numbers of whales , seals and dolphins recorded in the gormez straits in both 2006 and 2018.
The bar chart gives information about how many
whales
Use synonyms
, seals, and
dolphins
Use synonyms
counted
Verb problem
were counted
show examples
 in the
gormez
Correct your spelling
Gomera
 starits between 2006 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
dolphins
Use synonyms
follow
Correct subject-verb agreement
follows
show examples
 an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 the figures for seals and
whales
Use synonyms
 fluctuate over the
period
Use synonyms
 shown.
In addition
Linking Words
,
dolphins
Use synonyms
 had the highest figure,
while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true with
whales
Use synonyms
. The number of seals, which was the highest figure in the first year, started at over 40, after which it saw a sharp decrease to approximately 25 in 2010, before recovering to over 40 in the final year.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 similar change can be seen in the figures for
whales
Use synonyms
, which fluctuated in the range from roughly 24 to 21 between 2006 and 2014, before ending the
period
Use synonyms
 at around 28 in 2018.
By contrast
Linking Words
, just over 15
dolphins
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 witnessed in 2006, which rose gradually to over 20 in 4 years later, and
ending
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
 the
period
Use synonyms
 with
tripling
Correct article usage
a tripling
show examples
 to over 50
dolphins
Use synonyms
 in 2018.
Dolphins
Use synonyms
 became the highest figures over the
period
Use synonyms
examied
Correct your spelling
examined
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words whales, dolphins, period with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuate" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: