IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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People differ in their attitude towards taking
risks
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, with some people seemingly born to be risky and others rather
risk
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 averse.
This
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 essay will look into the advantages and disadvantages of an adventurous attitude and conclude that taking some
risks
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 is a positive thing. First of all, it should be noted that taking
risks
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 is necessary for
success
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. History is full of
such
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 examples in all fields, from science to war and from sport to literature. Those who simply continue
tradition
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the tradition
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 and never try anything new are doomed to repeat the past and typically content themselves with mediocrity.
However
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, when people try new things, they may
risk
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 failure, but they
also
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 bring about the possibility of tremendous
success
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. Looking at literature,
for example
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, we can see great writers like James Joyce and William Burroughs, who completely redefined what a novel could be by breaking all the rules. They could easily have wasted their time and become mired in failure, but their
risks
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 paid off and they are today considered giants in their field. Of course,
that is
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 not to suggest that taking a
risk
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 always results in
success
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. Naturally, for every great
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success
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success,
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 there are countless failures. To continue the idea of literature, one can only begin to imagine the number of writers who attempted to do something entirely new but failed because they were misunderstood. Taking
risks
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 in everyday life can be an even bigger problem because the consequences can be more severe. Young men often hurt themselves in foolish stunts because they
took
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take
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 a
risk
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 to impress their peers. In
such
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 cases, it would clearly have been better not to take that
risk
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 at all. In conclusion, whether it is better to take
risks
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 or not depends entirely upon the
risk
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. In some scenarios, it is best to take a chance and see what happens because the potential outcome could be immensely rewarding, but in many
cases
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cases,
show examples
 it is rather pointless. Still,
overall
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 it is better to take some
risks
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 than avoid them altogether.

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task achievement
The essay responds well to the task, clearly discussing both views and providing relevant examples. To further strengthen the task response, you could provide more detailed analysis and balance your discussion between the two perspectives evenly.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical structure of the essay by clearly distinguishing between supporting and opposing views. You can use more cohesive devices to better link your ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity and comprehensiveness, consider expanding on some points with more specific examples and analyses. This will make your arguments more compelling and convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and sets up the essay effectively by stating both views and indicating your own stance.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points made in the essay and reiterates your opinion, providing a strong sense of closure.
supported main points
The examples provided (James Joyce and William Burroughs in literature) are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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