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Band 4.5

The charts below show changes in the age structure of the population of a European country between 1901 and 1981 and a prediction for 2021

The charts below show changes in the age structure of the population of a European country between 1901 and 1981 and a prediction for 2021
The pie charts demonstrate the various changes in the proportion of different
age
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group
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groups
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 in European
country
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countries
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 between 1901 and 1981
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 a projection of 2021. A glance at the pie charts reveals that the quantity of people in the
age
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 range of 0 to 65
rank
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ranks
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 first
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 those aged over 85 had a tiny percentage. It is crystal clear that the proportion of all
age
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Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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a
Correct article usage
the
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 same
fashion
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pattern
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 from 1901 to 1941. The 0-65
age
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group
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 had 95%
while
Linking Words
 the over 85
age
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group
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 had a tiny proportion of 1% and 4% other
group
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 . In comparison, the
number of
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apply
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total population in 1901 was higher than that in
1941
Punctuation problem
1941,
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 with nearly 38 million and 52 million
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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. The most noticeable is that there was a significant rise in 65-to-85-year-old-people by a tenth to 13% . In comparison, the percentage of the 0-65
age
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group
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 was 21 times that
in
Change preposition
of
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 those aged over 85
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 83% and 4% respectively. It is estimated that the
number of
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apply
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total population will rise dramatically from 67 to 87.5 million . The 0-65
age
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group
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 is forecast to have decreased to nearly
four fifths
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four-fifths
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. The prediction
is
Verb problem
apply
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reveals that the over 85
age
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group
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 and those aged 65 to 85 will see a minimal rise to 6% and 15% respectively. In conclusion, the 0-65
age
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group
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 always rank first
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the over 85 always has the lowest percentage.

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "comparison" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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