IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years, the family structure has changed, as well as family roles. What are the changes occurring? Do you think these changes are positive or negative?

There is no denying the fact that the family structure
in
Change preposition
apply
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nowadays has
considered
Verb problem
apply
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change
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changed
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 compared with the past.
This
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 essay will discuss the
changes
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,
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apply
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 which are happening and give my opinion about
results
Correct article usage
the results
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 of these
changes
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.
To begin
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 with, there are many
changes
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 in family structure.
Firstly
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, the significant change is the number of family
members
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, which has
substantial
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substantially
show examples
 decreased, unlike in the old time.
In other words
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, the households consist of 2 or 3
members
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 as
maximum
Correct article usage
a maximum
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 in recent years,
while
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 in the past were might
reached
Verb problem
have reached
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 more than 7
members
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.
Moreover
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, one of these
changes
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 is
adoption
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the adoption
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 of orphanages
which
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, which
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lead
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leads
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 to
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the creating
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creating
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creation
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 new form of family.
In addition
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, we can see each member
rely
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relies
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 on himself or herself and
tend
Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
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 to
life
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live
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 alone away from their parents. For
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
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, people in
USA
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the USA
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 and in European countries, they are desire to
creating
Wrong verb form
create
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 a new pattern to
organize
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organise
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 their families and
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. The results of these
changes
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, I believe that
,
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apply
show examples
 there are many advantages
from
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to
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 these
changes
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,
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apply
show examples
. It
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also
Verb problem
is also
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 possible to say that
,
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apply
show examples
 the advantages are more effective than
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
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 in recent years, which help in creating an ideal financial and emotional environment when
have
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having
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 a minimal number of children.
For instance
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, when we have one or two babies, it can
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
 to good upbringing, stable life,
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and organize
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organize
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organise
show examples
 the future planning for both parents and kids. In conclusion, there are many clear
changes
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happen
Wrong verb form
happening
show examples
 in family structure recently. It is
also
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 true that it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 positive effects and
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 many advantages for family
members
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay. State your main idea in the introduction and make 2 or 3 clear points in support.
cohesion
Use linking words to show how your ideas fit together. Use simple words like first, next, also, but, however.
task
Try to show both sides of the change. Say what is good and what is hard, then give your own view.
examples
Give more real and simple examples for each point. For example, 'smaller family size' or 'less money for many kids'—keep plain.
grammar
Check grammar. Fix errors with verbs and noun forms, and keep tense steady.
content
The essay shows a real idea about how families change.
structure
There is an ending that sums up.
task response
The writer makes an answer to the task and gives a view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Family structure
  • Modern family
  • Extended family
  • Nuclear family
  • Same-sex parent families
  • Breadwinner
  • Caregiving responsibilities
  • Family dynamics
  • Globalization
  • Economic shifts
  • Migration
  • Child-free lifestyles
  • Cohabitation
  • Traditional marriage
  • Perceptions
  • Homemaker
  • Communication
  • Shared activities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: