IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phones apps, is becoming increasingly common. Advantage outweigh disadvantage?

It is clear that
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 paying online is the future of trading,
Wether
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Whether
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 it is used by a mobile or other ways
such
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 as watches or websites. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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 we will take a look at why these
apps
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 are the way moving forward,
then
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 we will see the way that it could be negative. Many use phone
apps
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 for their incredible
privilages
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privileges
 like paying over a certain period or special discounts.
For instance
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, we could look at Mada pay
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, it
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it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 unlocks
acsess
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access
 to an infinite number of credit cards. Every card with its own features.
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this
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This
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 makes life less complex since you only have to hold a phone
instead
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 of a heavy wallet filled with cards
, it
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. It
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also
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 provides
high
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a high
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 level of security, because the only person
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that
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who
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 is able to
utilize
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utilise
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 the app is the owner of the
phone
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phone,
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 since it asks for a passcode.
Although
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 these
apps
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 give their users a high level of
cyber-security
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cybersecurity
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, if they are not
careful
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careful,
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 they might get hacked. Hackers always try to
maniplute
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manipulate
 the users of these services
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, espcially
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espcially
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especially
 the old
since
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, since
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 they
ususally
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usually
 have less
experince
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experience
 in the
digtial
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digital
 world.
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Also
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Also,
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 one of the most significant issues with these
apps
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 is
people
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that people
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 tend to purchase useless merchandise,
due to
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 the fact that these services are easy and fast to use, which is a conundrum, since these
advanteges
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advantages
is
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are
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 what made them common.
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to
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To
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 conclude
this
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 essay
these
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, these
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apps
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 offer a wide range of features, if used in the right way. Day by day
we
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, we
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 can notice that the coming years will be more dependent on these services.

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planning
Plan your writing. Make a short plan with 3 ideas. Write intro, 2-3 body parts, and a short conclusion.
structure
Use one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and end with a short closing line for that paragraph.
language
Check spelling and grammar. Keep simple words and short sentences.
coherence
Link ideas with simple words like also, but, so, and however. Use clear order and flow.
content
The essay shows a view that paying with apps can be good and bad.
content
There is some use of examples, like Mada pay and security ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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