Shopping is the favourite pastime for most of the young people. Why do ou think is that? Do you think that they should encouraged to do some other useful activities?

Due to
Linking Words
commercialization
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commercialisation
show examples
in recent years, shopping is one of the best leisure
activity
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activities
show examples
for most of the youngsters. Social media bombarded people with new products
everyday
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every day
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
essay
discus
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discusses
show examples
how several factors
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
a contributory role in
buying
Correct article usage
the buying
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habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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of the new generation and harshly
discourages
Correct subject-verb agreement
discourage
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them
to
Change preposition
from
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involve
Verb problem
participating
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in other useful activities.
Firstly
Linking Words
, social media
utlilizes
Correct your spelling
utilises
the algorithm of the user to enhance motivation. Shopping items
such
Linking Words
as
Cloths
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Clothes
show examples
, appliances,
jewelry
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jewellery
show examples
and cosmetics thoroughly
grabs
Correct subject-verb agreement
grab
show examples
the attention of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
potential buyers and are mostly attracted by television commercials.
Secondly
Linking Words
, malls and other
such
Linking Words
buildings provide them with
safe
Correct article usage
a safe
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place to
hangout
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hang out
show examples
with friends and
further
Linking Words
followed by buying unreasonable
stuffs
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stuff
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.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, commercial advertisements
such
Linking Words
as limited-time
offer
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offers
show examples
and curated
storefront
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storefronts
show examples
provide instant
dopamine-boost
Use the right word
dopamine boost
show examples
leading to shopping. Apart from
above
Correct article usage
the above
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circumstances, over-reliance can lead to materialism, bring pressure on the
finance
Fix the agreement mistake
finances
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and
environmental
Verb problem
cause environmental
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stress. The proper
measure
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measures
show examples
to be taken
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
through financial literacy, enrolling in
volunteer
Correct article usage
a volunteer
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program and joining
sports
Correct article usage
a sports
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club. The knowledge of budget teaching at early stages
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
support to the guardians and
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
show examples
undue wastage of money. Sports
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
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support the physical growth
enhancing
Wrong verb form
and enhance
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concentration
Correct article usage
the concentration
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required for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily activities. Students enrolling in universities for research work can create medicines and
treatment
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treatments
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that
cen
Correct your spelling
can
be helpful for human
being
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beings
show examples
. In conclusion, adolescents should not waste only on shopping but involve their skills and creativity in more positive ways through
balanced
Correct article usage
a balanced
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approach and supporting both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sectors of
the people
Check wording
society
show examples
.

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language
Fix many spelling and grammar mistakes to make ideas clear. Use short, simple sentences and common words.
structure
Make a plan before writing: state your view, list two or three points, then explain them with a reason.
content
Add real examples from life or data to show why shopping is popular and how to balance with other work.
coherence
Use linking words correctly and keep ideas easy to follow; check the flow between paragraphs.
structure
There is a clear plan with an intro, body, and conclusion.
content
The essay talks about causes and the way to fix it.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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