IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The world’s air pollution levels are rising year on year. What are the most pressing causes and effects of this disturbing trend?

Air
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pollution
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 has emerged as one of the greatest environmental challenges of the 21st century, with global levels continuing to rise each year.
This
Linking Words
 problem is primarily driven by the expanding
consumption
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 patterns of both developing and developed economies, and its most alarming consequences are seen in the deterioration of human
health
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. The burning of fossil fuels remains the single largest contributor to airborne pollutants. Rapidly growing economies
such
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 as India and China, where living standards have risen for billions of people, have experienced a dramatic surge in vehicle ownership and industrial output.
This
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 trend adds immense pressure to already strained atmospheric conditions. When compounded by the historically high levels of
consumption
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 in developed nations, particularly in North America and Europe, the result is a dangerous convergence of emissions that intensifies global
air
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pollution
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.
Thus
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, the dual forces of industrial expansion in developing regions and unsustainable
consumption
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 in advanced economies constitute the most pressing causes of
this
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 crisis. The effects of worsening
air
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 quality are widespread, but the most urgent concern is its impact on human
health
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. Respiratory illnesses
such
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 as asthma and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease are now reaching record levels, particularly among children living in urban centres. The World
Health
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Organization
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Organisation
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 estimates that
air
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pollution
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 contributes to millions of premature deaths annually. Beyond direct respiratory issues, research
also
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 links polluted
air
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 to cardiovascular disease, neurological impairment, and reduced agricultural productivity, with contaminated crops increasing cancer risks. These outcomes threaten not only current populations but
also
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 the
wellbeing
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well-being
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 of future generations. In conclusion, the unchecked use of fossil fuels and resource-intensive
consumption
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 patterns are at the root of rising
air
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pollution
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. Their consequences, most notably on human
health
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, make
this
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 one of the most urgent global challenges. Addressing industrial emissions and
consumption
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 habits must
therefore
Linking Words
 become a central priority for sustainable development in the decades ahead.

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task response
You answer the task well by giving causes and effects. To raise the score, add more clear detail on how each cause leads to harm and give more real numbers or examples.
coherence
The essay starts with a clear opening and ends with a strong conclusion. Keep this good link to the end and make the flow stay neat between ideas.
coherence
Some ideas are linked with clear words like Thus and Beyond. Use more such links, and keep one idea per paragraph.
lexical
Use easy words and short sentences. This helps the reader follow your point.
grammar
Watch long sentences. They can be split into two to be clearer.
strength
Clear view on cause and effect.
structure
Good structure with intro, body and conclusion.
content
Uses examples of India, China, and Western countries to show ideas.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • air quality
  • emissions
  • pollutants
  • carbon footprint
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • fossil fuels
  • urbanization
  • industrialization
  • exhaust fumes
  • environmental regulations
  • renewable energy
  • smog
  • ozone layer depletion
  • public health crisis
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