IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people today do not feel safe either at home or when they are out. What are the causes? Do you think this will be the case in the future?

Nowadays, many individuals feel
insecured
Correct your spelling
insecure
 not only
outdoor
Replace the word
outdoors
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 at their private property.
While
Linking Words
 poor security
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and
heptic
Correct your spelling
hectic
 lifestyles are to blame for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon, I believe these problems can be addressed and
therefore
Linking Words
 improved in the future.
Linking Words
This insecurity
Fix the agreement mistake
These insecurities
show examples
 are mainly caused by the mistrust of current security forces and the negative impact brought by
busy
Correct article usage
the busy
show examples
 lifestyles of working
parents
Use synonyms
. Officials,
such
Linking Words
 as
police
Use synonyms
, firefighters, or community
securities
Fix the agreement mistake
security
show examples
, are formed to protect
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 people.
However
Linking Words
, residents in many countries, particularly developing nations
such
Linking Words
 as the Philippines, often face street robberies, kidnapping, and
stealings
Check wording
thefts
show examples
 on a daily basis, resulting in
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of trust in the
police
Use synonyms
 force.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the majority of the
parents
Use synonyms
 in developed countries are both working, leaving their children to institutions or babysitters.
This
Linking Words
 early detachment from their
parents
Use synonyms
 can lead to a sense of
abandon
Replace the word
abandonment
show examples
.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the children will grow up to be more
insecured
Correct your spelling
insecure
 than others.
Conversely
Linking Words
, these issues can be mitigated. Governments can enhance their
powerforces
Correct your spelling
power forces
 by increasing patrols, raising the punishments, and
leveling up
Verb problem
upgrading
show examples
police
Use synonyms
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
philippines
Fix capitalization
Philippines
show examples
 once started
practicing
Use the right word
practising
show examples
 death sentences, which effectively
halt
Wrong verb form
halted
show examples
 criminal actions. Another example is that
police
Use synonyms
 in Singapore
uses
Correct subject-verb agreement
use
show examples
rifle
Fix the agreement mistake
rifles
show examples
in stead
Use the right word
instead
show examples
 of
pistol
Fix the agreement mistake
pistols
show examples
while
Linking Words
 doing patrols on the street, significantly
lower
Wrong verb form
lowering
show examples
 the crime rates in the
neighborhoods
Use the right word
neighbourhoods
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, governments should
also
Linking Words
 encourage
parents
Use synonyms
 to accompany their children more
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 schools can provide consoles for students to express their feelings and mitigate their loneliness freely and privately. In conclusion, underdeveloped policies and firepower
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as neglecting
Use synonyms
parents
Punctuation problem
parents,
show examples
 are at fault
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the insecurity prevalent in today's society.
While
Linking Words
 it can be
sovled
Correct your spelling
solved
 by
strengthened
Correct article usage
a strengthened
show examples
 security network and personal letout, I believe it can be eliminated slowly but surely.

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grammar
Fix the grammar and word use. Use simple, clear speech. Check sentences for mistakes like subject and verb.
structure
Clear plan in each part. State causes, then talk about what can be done. Use one idea per paragraph.
content
Add real and clear examples that match the point. Do not mix facts that are not proved. Keep ideas simple.
structure
There is a plan with an intro, two main parts, and a conclusion.
coherence
You use some linking words to show how ideas go together.
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