IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think university students should only focus on one particular study area. Others. However, others believe they should be encouraged to study a wide variety of subjects. Discuss both views and mention your own opinion.

It is
commnely
Correct your spelling
commonly
 believed that some
students
Use synonyms
perfer
Correct your spelling
prefer
 to stay
in
Linking Words
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 area and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe it is good to discover other parts. Some people
aruge
Correct your spelling
argue
 that studying a
varity
Correct your spelling
variety
 of
subjects
Use synonyms
 would make a good future for
students
Use synonyms
.
While
Linking Words
 I agree that discovering other area help
students
Use synonyms
 to get a good job in the future, I believe
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 that you
are
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not understand well
put
Wrong verb form
puts
show examples
 pressure on
students
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, a positive aspect of the mix of
subjects
Use synonyms
 is that
would
Correct pronoun usage
it would
show examples
 give you a
plasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
 job and let you discover new aspects of life.
This
Linking Words
Verb problem
is becuase
show examples
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 many people
gets
Correct subject-verb agreement
get
show examples
 their high jobs because of the knowledge they have.
For example
Linking Words
, a recent study shows most of the workers with high buy are people with so much knowledge, talents and
experinece
Correct your spelling
experience
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who fail is because of the stress and anxiety of too
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 to study. I believe that most of the
students
Use synonyms
afraid
Verb problem
are afraid
show examples
 of the pressure that
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 with the benefits of studying different topics.
For instance
Linking Words
, Oxford University illustrate that many
students
Use synonyms
graduated
Wrong verb form
graduate
show examples
 without any experience
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
filed
Use the right word
field
show examples
 or the job they want and
that
Verb problem
that's
show examples
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 they are scared of stress and exhaustion. In conclusion, I believe that many
students
Use synonyms
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to discover more
subjects
Use synonyms
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they are not confident about the burden that
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 with it.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
students
Use synonyms
 stay with their area of study without trying or
encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
show examples
 themselves to experience new areas or fields.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Be clear about your view in the essay. State your opinion in the first paragraph and stick to it. Then talk about both sides with clear links. Use one or two strong examples to back up your point.
coherence and cohesion
Make the flow between ideas better. Use a topic sentence for each paragraph. Use simple links like 'and', 'but', 'also', 'however'. Keep sentences short and easy to read.
task response
The essay shows some effort to discuss both sides of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
There is a basic sense of structure, with a beginning and a closing idea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: