Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, more and more

children

Use synonyms

spend their day on their tablets.

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the development in technology and the convenience it brings.

This

Linking Words

trend brings more harm than good, as it will harm their grades and careers. On the one hand,

children

Use synonyms

are using devices more often these days because of the convenience they offer. In the past, they had to read books or gather around a TV for entertainment.

However

Linking Words

, since the advent of the internet and technological advancements, we now have an abundance of information at our fingertips. There are many apps that now keep

children

Use synonyms

entertained for the whole day. Online games provide hours of fun and keep

children

Use synonyms

glued to their screens for hours at a time.

As a result

Linking Words

, dopamine is released, and

this

Linking Words

can have an addictive effect on them.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, smartphones provide an easier life, but they

also

Linking Words

come with many consequences.

Children

Use synonyms

are spending most of their free time on their devices and,

as a result

Linking Words

, are neglecting their studies.

Children

Use synonyms

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

show examples

spend most of their time on their phones are more likely to get poor grades and suffer

with

Change preposition

from

show examples

health complications in the future. Prolonged use of screens has negative effects on vision and may require a child to use glasses for the rest of their lives.

Therefore

Linking Words

, extended use of electronic devices can negatively harm the development of a child and their brain. In conclusion,

children

Use synonyms

spend hours a day on their phones because of the entertainment and convenience they offer.

This

Linking Words

trend has many repercussions and can hamper their development and future careers. If parents implemented strict rules regarding phone usage,

this

Linking Words

could stop them from becoming addicted and help them when they are older.

salehieltsstudy

Sep 6, 2025

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content

The essay gives a clear view that screen time is not good, but add more on how this affects school and life. Add more facts or ideas to back this up.

structure

Make flow smoother. Use better links between ideas. A short plan before writing helps.

style

Check grammar and style. Shorter sentences can help. Focus on one main idea per paragraph.

content

Clear view that screen time can be bad for grades and health.

structure

Good use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

291 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

screen time
digital devices
smartphone addiction
online interactions
developmental impact
physical health
mental well-being
academic performance
parental supervision
proliferation of apps
engaging content
excessive use
sedentary lifestyle

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more people in developing countries are purchasing cars for the first time. What problems does this cause? What do you think is a possible solution?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss hoth these views and give your own opinion.

Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.