Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, more and more
children
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spend their day on their tablets.
This
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is
due to
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the development in technology and the convenience it brings.
This
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trend brings more harm than good, as it will harm their grades and careers. On the one hand,
children
Use synonyms
are using devices more often these days because of the convenience they offer. In the past, they had to read books or gather around a TV for entertainment.
However
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, since the advent of the internet and technological advancements, we now have an abundance of information at our fingertips. There are many apps that now keep
children
Use synonyms
entertained for the whole day. Online games provide hours of fun and keep
children
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glued to their screens for hours at a time.
As a result
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, dopamine is released, and
this
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can have an addictive effect on them.
On the other hand
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, smartphones provide an easier life, but they
also
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come with many consequences.
Children
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are spending most of their free time on their devices and,
as a result
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, are neglecting their studies.
Children
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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spend most of their time on their phones are more likely to get poor grades and suffer
with
Change preposition
from
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health complications in the future. Prolonged use of screens has negative effects on vision and may require a child to use glasses for the rest of their lives.
Therefore
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, extended use of electronic devices can negatively harm the development of a child and their brain. In conclusion,
children
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spend hours a day on their phones because of the entertainment and convenience they offer.
This
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trend has many repercussions and can hamper their development and future careers. If parents implemented strict rules regarding phone usage,
this
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could stop them from becoming addicted and help them when they are older.

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content
The essay gives a clear view that screen time is not good, but add more on how this affects school and life. Add more facts or ideas to back this up.
structure
Make flow smoother. Use better links between ideas. A short plan before writing helps.
style
Check grammar and style. Shorter sentences can help. Focus on one main idea per paragraph.
content
Clear view that screen time can be bad for grades and health.
structure
Good use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • screen time
  • digital devices
  • smartphone addiction
  • online interactions
  • developmental impact
  • physical health
  • mental well-being
  • academic performance
  • parental supervision
  • proliferation of apps
  • engaging content
  • excessive use
  • sedentary lifestyle
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