Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In
this
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modern era, a number of school children spend numerous hours on technological devices
such
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as smartphones.
This
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phenomenon stems from technological development and social media addiction. Even though
this
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situation seems beneficial for their well-being, I believe that
this
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trend is rather negative because of health risks and loss of precious time to study.
To begin
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with, there are several reasons why they spend a lot of time on their phones.
Firstly
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, using phones is inextricably linked with their lives, including in
private
Correct pronoun usage
their private
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lives and even in school. These youngsters need to possess the devices so that they can communicate with their friends and parents,
as well as
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occasionally search for things mentioned in classes when their teachers allow them to look them up.
Secondly
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, social media is
also
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a huge contributor to the use of the Internet. Owing to the proliferation and the algorithm of social media, it became a place where they can not only express themselves, but
also
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seek their interests and stimulation, which are less available in their daily lives,
such
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as taking a look at their favourite idols and sharing their interests with their friends. Turning to the disadvantages of
this
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development, one of them is health issues. Excessive exposure to the Internet can negatively affect their physical and mental problems ,
such
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as obesity and anxiety.
This
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is because it can prevent them from playing outside and contacting other people in the real world. Another is that being on a phone every day might discourage them from studying, because it is
such
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an addiction that it is difficult for them to decide when to quit and start studying. To illustrate
this
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,
according to
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a recent study, the average score for the entrance exam of Osaka University in 2020 was lower than that of 2010, with a 15% gap. In conclusion, the usage of smartphones is pivotal for young generations , and it is inevitable for them to use the gadgets as a measure
for
Change preposition
of
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communication and for leisure time. I think that
this
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is a negative development since it may harm their bodies and can hinder their academic success.

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task response
Be clear on your view from the start. State if using phones a lot is good or bad.
task response
Give two or three strong ideas and back them with a clear example.
language
Use simple, common words and short sentences.
coherence
Link ideas with easy transitions like 'also', 'but', 'for example'.
structure
Make each paragraph fit one idea. Use a clear flow from one idea to the next.
examples
Check facts and be sure the example fits what you say.
stance
You show a clear view against the topic.
organization
There is good paragraph structure: intro, body, and conclusion.
evidence
You try to give a fact to back a point.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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