IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is a natural process that animal species such as dinosaurs become extinct. There is no reason for people to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

To begin
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, it is a primitive procedure that different kinds of creatures ,
such
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 as dinosaurs, become inexistence.
While
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 some contend that humans have no control over
such
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 procedures, others argue that the community can play its major role in preventing
this
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 from happening.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain my viewpoint as well. On the one hand, I agree with those advocating that mankind can do nothing in front of the natural process of creatures’ annihilation.
Additionally
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, when certain processes occur on our planet, different living beings first get endangered, and
then
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finally
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 cease to exist no more. Research showed that the major cause behind the dinosaurs ’ extinction is the climatic changes.
Besides
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, the other major reason is lower fertility and reproduction rate.
Therefore
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, the community can do nothing
,
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apply
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 when it comes to
such
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 issues.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that individuals can play their vital role in the preservation of
such
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 living beings. As we know, the major reason behind species extinction is loss of habitat, so the community can provide the habitat for the endangered species that are near to their verge of extinction.
For instance
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, the governing bodies in Quetta have declared some public parks as a home for the markhor to save the national animal of Pakistan.
Although
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,
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 people can do nothing about the lower fertility rate, the government can make proper legislation and impose a ban on the hunting of the endangered creatures. In light of the above facts, I admit that species annihilation is a natural process , and we humans can do nothing about it.
However
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, I strongly believe that human can play their needed, and vital role in protecting, and saving living beings that are near their dead end .

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task
State one clear view in the intro and keep it to the end. Do not shift your main point in the conclusion.
content
Use one strong idea per paragraph and back it with simple facts or examples.
coherence
Link ideas with small, clear words like and, but, also, for example. This helps flow.
language
Check spelling and word use. Prefer common, plain words.
structure
The essay has a clear layout: intro, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • extinction
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • natural selection
  • evolution
  • environmental changes
  • endangered species
  • conservation
  • habitat destruction
  • ecological balance
  • genetic diversity
  • responsibility
  • accelerate
  • species adaptation
  • butterfly effect
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