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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THE CHARTS BELOW SHOW THE RESULTS OF A SURVEY OF ADULT EDUCATION. THE FIRST CHART SHOWS THE REASONS WHY ADULTS DECIDE TO STUDY. THE PIE CHART SHOWS HOW PEOPLE THINK THE COSTS OF ADULT EDUCATION SHOULD BE SHARED .

THE CHARTS BELOW SHOW THE RESULTS OF A SURVEY OF ADULT EDUCATION. THE FIRST CHART SHOWS THE REASONS WHY ADULTS DECIDE TO STUDY. THE PIE CHART SHOWS HOW PEOPLE THINK THE COSTS OF ADULT EDUCATION SHOULD BE SHARED .
The provided graph illustrates the outcomes of a poll of
an high
Correct word choice
higher
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education
Use synonyms
. The first
gragh dispalys
Correct your spelling
graph displays
 the
causes
Check wording
reasons
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 why young
people
Use synonyms
 want to learn. The second table displays how
people
Use synonyms
 think the
assesses
Replace the word
assessments
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 should be shared in
a high
Correct word choice
higher
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education
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, interest in subjects and getting qualifications are the most causes that young
people
Use synonyms
 want to study, overtaking the other reasons.
Meanwhile
Punctuation problem
Meanwhile,
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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is
Verb problem
have
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 the highest share of
costs
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,
taxpayer
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taxpayers
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 and
employer
Fix the agreement mistake
employers
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 have the lowest
costs
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respactivly
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
young
Fix capitalization
Young
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people
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 who find it
interest
Replace the word
interesting
show examples
 in study subjects
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 more popular
Linking Words
then
Use the right word
than
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 any other
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
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with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
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half, except
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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 who want to get qualifications.
and
Fix capitalization
And
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 the lowest
reson
Correct your spelling
reason
 is
people
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 who love dealing with other
persons
Check wording
people
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
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with an insignificant tiny.
whereas
Linking Words
 adults who
determined
Verb problem
are determined
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 to have fun in
education
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 and to develop prospects of promotion have the
smae
Correct your spelling
same
exactly
Replace the word
exact
show examples
 value with just 20%.
Use synonyms
people
Fix capitalization
People
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 considered
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
costs
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
education
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 must be shared fairly.
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
Individuals
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 the highest
costs
Use synonyms
 with a large proportion,
while
Linking Words
taxpayer
Fix the agreement mistake
taxpayers
show examples
 should only
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costs
Verb problem
incur costs
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 a small
minortiy
Correct your spelling
minority
,
by
Linking Words
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
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 employers
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 the average
costs
Use synonyms
 with just 35%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words education, people, costs with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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