IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

jnuSome people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Advertising
play
Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
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an
Correct article usage
a
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 crucial role in influencing
choices
Correct article usage
the choices
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 in terms of
acquring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
 goods and services. Few
masses
Check wording
people
show examples
 believe that marketing is
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 effective way to push any person into acquiring things.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 others think that advertising is too outdated for them.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to delve
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 both prospects prior to
embark
Wrong verb form
embarking
show examples
 on a suitable conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
,
one
Use synonyms
 of the prime reasons behind
this
Linking Words
 trend is that
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it
hire
Correct subject-verb agreement
hires
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number
Correct article usage
a number
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 of renowned personalities to endorse products in the market, which
utilmately
Correct your spelling
ultimately
attract
Correct subject-verb agreement
attracts
show examples
vast
Correct article usage
the vast
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 majority of
people
Use synonyms
 . To
site
Use the right word
cite
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 an
epitome
Check wording
example
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, Many big companies in the market, who are using famous
faces
Punctuation problem
faces,
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 are more likely to earn customers.
Thus
Linking Words
,
large
Correct article usage
a large
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 proportion of individuals are mainly influenced through publicity.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, discounts and special offers are two main techniques which can promote business
Change preposition
to at
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at
Use the right word
a
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 large
extend
Replace the word
extent
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. These days, individuals find these deals more affordable and buy things which are not even required. To illustrate, buy
one
Use synonyms
 get
one
Use synonyms
 free is
one
Use synonyms
 of the popular
offer
Fix the agreement mistake
offers
show examples
 among profitable businesses. On the flip side, there are still certain individuals who neglect publicity platforms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in case of purchasing things.
One
Use synonyms
 main reason behind
this
Linking Words
 attitude is awareness ,
due to
Linking Words
 social media apps like Instagram and
Tiktok
Use the right word
TikTok
show examples
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
and it has become a trend of informing
general
Correct article usage
the general
show examples
 public about any special brand via personal experiences.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 have become more cautious and do not get distracted by market strategies. In conclusion,despite marketing
can
Verb problem
being able to
show examples
 push
uncountable
Correct word choice
countless
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 towards their product with the help of well-known personalities and discounted prices,
however
Linking Words
,awareness through online platforms is still making
people
Use synonyms
 less attentive
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 these strategies.

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planning
Make a clear plan before you write. State your view in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion.
coherence
Use simple link words to show how ideas connect.
content
Give more clear main points and support them with easy examples.
content
The essay tries to discuss both sides and ends with a view.
coherence
There are linking phrases that show contrast.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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