IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

0000Nowadays, mobile pho00nes and the internet have become inc00reasingly important in people’s social life. What are the advantages and d0isadvantages of this?

It is undeniable that
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technology has a wide range of challenges and opportunities. In
digital
Correct article usage
the digital
show examples
 era, technology gadgets and the internet have become an important part
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
individuals
Check wording
individuals'
show examples
 social life.
While
Linking Words
 it offers certain benefits to individuals and
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
, it
also
Linking Words
 brings
serveral
Correct your spelling
several
 drawbacks.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both the boon and
bane
Correct article usage
the bane
show examples
 of modern technology. On the one hand, there are various positive aspects of mobile phones and the internet, but the most prominent one is that
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 globally connect.
In other words
Linking Words
, nowadays people connect
instantaenous
Correct your spelling
instantaneously
 through video calls,
instagram
Fix capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 and
call
Correct subject-verb agreement
calls
show examples
. Citizens who are living overseas can be easily connected
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their families.
For instance
Linking Words
, mankind who are living in Canada can talk
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 families with the help of communication apps
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
google meet
Fix capitalization
Google Meet
show examples
 and
snapchat
Fix capitalization
Snapchat
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
artifical intelligance
Correct your spelling
artificial intelligence
 boosts work efficiency,
````
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State clearly both good and bad sides, then give a clear final view.
coherence and cohesion
Plan the essay: intro, two body parts (one for good, one for bad), then a short close.
grammar and lexis
Fix spell and grammar. Use simple words and short sentences when you can.
information
Intro states the topic and idea of the essay.
examples
There are examples like people using apps to talk with family.
coherence
Some linking words are used to join ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: