IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed in 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed in 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The line graph illustrates the number of cases of
car
Use synonyms
 theft, house burglary and
street
Use synonyms
robbery
Use synonyms
 in England and Wales between 1970 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
,
car
Use synonyms
 theft was
very
Correct article usage
a very
show examples
 common type of crime,
then
Linking Words
street
Use synonyms
robbery
Use synonyms
 was the least case. We can see that
car
Use synonyms
 theft and
street
Use synonyms
robbery
Use synonyms
were
Verb problem
apply
show examples
began to decline in 1995. Only
street
Use synonyms
robbery
Use synonyms
 increased steadily. In 1970, around 0.4
million
Use synonyms
car
Use synonyms
 thefts were reported, compared to about 0.2
million
Use synonyms
 house burglaries and
street
Use synonyms
 robberies
slightly
Punctuation problem
, slightly
show examples
 under 0.1
million
Use synonyms
.The number of
car
Use synonyms
 thefts increased slowly to 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990,
then
Linking Words
 went up quickly to almost 1.6
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995. After that, it fell gradually to around 1
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005. House
burgling
Use the right word
burglaries
show examples
 increased moderately
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 0.9
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 1980,
then
Linking Words
 dropped steadily
almost
Change preposition
by almost
show examples
 0.5
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
 in 2005.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
street
Use synonyms
robbery
Use synonyms
 showed a slow but consistent increase, from under 0.1
million
Use synonyms
 in 1970 to approximately 0.3
million
Use synonyms
 in 2005.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words car, street, robbery, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slowly" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • trough
  • rate
  • significant
  • incidence
  • decline
  • increase
  • statistics
  • data
  • crime rate
  • comparison
  • period
  • variations
What to do next:
Look at other essays: