IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Write a report summarising the information. Select and describe the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Table 1: Minutes spent with a doctor on average Age (years)FranceBrazilJapanUSAIndiaKenyaUKItalyChile 0–1016121413121591732 10–20182112171414121832 20–40252316192013122334 40–60292615202112152436 60–70342314211511152738 70+

The chart gives information about the typical time that patients spend with doctors in various countries, split by
age
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 group. We can see that the most common trend is for the time to increase consistently with
age
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the figure in France more than doubles from 16 to 38
minutes
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 between the youngest and oldest people.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the USA figure rises from 13 to 31, the UK from 9 to 21, and Italy from 17 to 29. These are all substantial increases. Chile has a consistent but much slighter climb, from 32 to 39
minutes
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. Brazil
also
Linking Words
 shows a rise,
although
Linking Words
 after
age
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60
Punctuation problem
60,
show examples
 there is a decline from 26
minutes
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 to an eventual 20. India has a more marked rise and fall, peaking at 21
minutes
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 for people aged 40 to 60, declining to 11
minutes
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 for 70 plus. Two countries are exceptions. Japan fluctuates across the
age
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 groups, between 12 and 16
minutes
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. Kenya declines steadily as
age
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 increases, from 15
minutes
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 for the youngest to 10
minutes
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 for the oldest people.
Overall
Linking Words
, time spent with doctors generally increases with
age
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, except in Japan and Kenya.

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task response
Task response: The essay gives the main trend and some country notes, but it can be clearer about the overall view and use more exact numbers from the chart.
task response
Task response: Add a short, clear opening and a short closing line that restates the trend.
coherence
Coherence: Use linking words to show how ideas connect, for example, 'first,' 'in addition,' and 'however' to show exceptions.
coherence
Coherence: Group ideas by trend and by country, so the reader can see both the common rise with age and the exceptions.
strength
Clear view that spending grows with age in many places.
strength
Uses some numbers to show trends for several countries.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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