You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic •Inventors are not as important to society as doctors •To what extent do you agree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#minutes #topic #•inventors #society #doctors #•to

It is undeniable that we are living in an era that has become easier thanks to inventions and experts.

People

hold the notion that

doctors

are more necessary than

inventors

in our lives.

Whereas

, some

people

do not believe that. I, personally, partly agree with two ideas, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs. On the one hand,

inventors

have many benefits to the

community

For instance

, some inventions help

people

save time very much

such

as washing machines, air-conditioned, television,... The washing machine helps society a lot because

people

do not need to wash clothes with their hands as they did in the past.

Moreover

, the Internet, which is created by

inventors

, plays an indispensable role in making life more convenient. It is true that we can not imagine our life without smartphones. It helps connect

people

in the

community

together and helps

people

update the information about the whole world faster.

It is clear that

without the

inventors

, human life can not be as comfortable as it is now.

On the other hand

, we can not deny that

doctors

are

also

important to our

community

because

doctors

act as those who directly carry out the task using the mechanism invented by

inventors

. As for medical inventions,

doctors

make things come true on a large scale. Sick

people

receive medicine as vaccines from

doctors

Besides

people

also

come to the hospital to meet the doctor when they do not feel good about their health. For illustrate, in COVID-19, many

people

were affected by death and diseases. At

this

time, nobody else than the doctor is the one who can

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

the biggest mission of protecting our nation from epidemics. In

this

situation, we can see that

doctors

devote their greatly to the sake of well beings of society. In conclusion, I think both

doctors

and

inventors

are equally important because

inventors

help provide effective mechanisms for our lives.

While

doctors

are the ones who keep the health of

people

Hence

, I suppose that what actually matters is that

inventors

and

doctors

should be considered to be equally crucial so that they can join hands for the same purpose that makes the

community

more developed.

Submitted by jakelong16091994 on Tue Jan 23 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a clear and direct thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader on your stance more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs, moving beyond basic connectors like 'Moreover', 'Besides', and 'For instance'.

task achievement

Strengthen your argument by providing more diverse and concrete examples, especially those that directly relate to your personal experiences or observations.

coherence and cohesion

Although you have included an introduction and conclusion, make sure they are more impactful by succinctly summarizing your key points and reinforcing your stance in a memorable way.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

366 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic •Inventors are not as important to society as doctors •To what extent do you agree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many professional sports, there is a increase in the number of athletes used banned substances to improve their performance. what are the causes of the phenomenon and what are some of the possible solutions?

Film stars and celebrities often share their views on public matters that have little to do with their profession. Is this a positive or negative development?

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sports or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantages.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communicate had has a negative effect on young people’s reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree with this statement?