You should spend about 40 minutes on this task Write about the following topic •Inventors are not as important to society as doctors •To what extent do you agree with this statement Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It is undeniable that we are living in an era that has become easier thanks to inventions and experts.
People
hold the notion that doctors
are more necessary than inventors
in our lives. Whereas
, some people
do not believe that. I, personally, partly agree with two ideas, which will be discussed in the following paragraphs.
On the one hand, inventors
have many benefits to the community
. For instance
, some inventions help people
save time very much such
as washing machines, air-conditioned, television,... The washing machine helps society a lot because people
do not need to wash clothes with their hands as they did in the past. Moreover
, the Internet, which is created by inventors
, plays an indispensable role in making life more convenient. It is true that we can not imagine our life without smartphones. It helps connect people
in the community
together and helps people
update the information about the whole world faster. It is clear that
without the inventors
, human life can not be as comfortable as it is now.
On the other hand
, we can not deny that doctors
are also
important to our community
because doctors
act as those who directly carry out the task using the mechanism invented by inventors
. As for medical inventions, doctors
make things come true on a large scale. Sick people
receive medicine as vaccines from doctors
. Besides
, people
also
come to the hospital to meet the doctor when they do not feel good about their health. For illustrate, in COVID-19, many people
were affected by death and diseases. At this
time, nobody else than the doctor is the one who can fulfill
the biggest mission of protecting our nation from epidemics. In Change the spelling
fulfil
this
situation, we can see that doctors
devote their greatly to the sake of well beings of society.
In conclusion, I think both doctors
and inventors
are equally important because inventors
help provide effective mechanisms for our lives. While
doctors
are the ones who keep the health of people
. Hence
, I suppose that what actually matters is that inventors
and doctors
should be considered to be equally crucial so that they can join hands for the same purpose that makes the community
more developed.Submitted by jakelong16091994 on
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task achievement
Ensure a clear and direct thesis statement in your introduction to guide the reader on your stance more effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs, moving beyond basic connectors like 'Moreover', 'Besides', and 'For instance'.
task achievement
Strengthen your argument by providing more diverse and concrete examples, especially those that directly relate to your personal experiences or observations.
coherence and cohesion
Although you have included an introduction and conclusion, make sure they are more impactful by succinctly summarizing your key points and reinforcing your stance in a memorable way.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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