Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Life inevitably presents
individuals
Use synonyms
with adverse circumstances, whether these involve dissatisfaction at work or financial hardship. Some argue that people should simply accept
such
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conditions,
while
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others believe that determination and self-discipline can enable improvement. In my view,
although
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acceptance may occasionally be unavoidable, striving to change one’s situation is usually the more empowering and productive response. One perspective is that
individuals
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sometimes have no option but to accept their reality.
For example
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, in many developing nations, university graduates are forced to work in low-paid factories because widespread corruption and economic instability restrict social mobility. Even when these
individuals
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possess the necessary skills and ambition, structural barriers prevent them from pursuing better opportunities.
This
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proves that external systems, rather than personal effort, can decide outcomes.
Consequently
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, acceptance may represent the most practical strategy when circumstances are shaped by factors beyond personal control.
In contrast
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, it is often argued that adversity can be overcome through resilience and the right mindset. A clear example is Jack Ma, who began his career as a poorly paid English teacher in China before establishing Alibaba, one of the world’s largest e-commerce companies. His success illustrates that perseverance, consistency, and vision can transform hardship into opportunity.
This
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shows that personal qualities often play a larger role than background conditions in determining success.
Thus
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, self-improvement is frequently attainable, provided that
individuals
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cultivate determination and adaptability. In conclusion,
while
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there are cases where acceptance of hardship is unavoidable, the greater value lies in striving for improvement. By demonstrating discipline, resilience, and self-belief, people can overcome obstacles and reshape their futures. In my opinion,
individuals
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should always attempt to enhance their circumstances, since only through effort can genuine progress be achieved.

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Task Response
Your answer is clear and you show a good view on the topic.
Task Response
To make the help stronger, add more balance by showing both sides with fair strength and give more examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use simple links to show how ideas fit together and to move from one idea to the next.
Coherence and Cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea in a short sentence at its start.
Strength
Clear view and good example
Strength
Two sides are shown and contrasted
Strength
Solid structure with intro, body, and conclusion
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • compete
  • cooperate
  • useful
  • adults
  • skills
  • motivation
  • drive
  • resilience
  • failure
  • workplace
  • empathy
  • social skills
  • reduce
  • stress
  • pressure
  • balanced
  • approach
  • ideal
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