IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

You stayed in a rental apartment during your trip last year and were generally satisfied with it. However, you encountered one issue. You are planning another trip and would like to rent the same apartment again. Write a letter to the owner. In your letter Express your interest in renting the apartment again. Mention the problem you faced during your last stay. Provide details about your upcoming trip and ask about the availability of the apartment.

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ear Sir or Madam, I am writing to rent one of your apartments for my upcoming holiday trip. In fact, I rented out your apartment during the holiday
last
Linking Words
 year,
although
Linking Words
 I have a lot of options with a discount I want to rent your accommodation another time, as I was delighted by the service your place has provided to me. I clearly remember the
last
Linking Words
 time I stayed at room number 202 with the spacious living room and the high-speed internet. To add , I want to bring to your attention the problem I faced was the washroom. Despite of Sizeable and beautiful washroom, I was not satisfied with the drainage system. The sewer was so small that water was not properly passing through after taking a shower. I am planning my upcoming trip with my family during
this
Linking Words
 summer vacation, so I want to rent your flat. The date I have decided is from July 15 until July 20. If you can respond to my letter as soon as possible, that apartment is available
during
Change preposition
on
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 that date. Looking forward to hearing from you. Yours Sincerely, Mubi

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task achievement
Ensure to check for minor grammatical errors to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Include more transitional phrases for even smoother flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Each issue or point should ideally have its own paragraph for better readability.
task achievement
Your letter clearly expresses interest in renting the apartment again and outlines the dates clearly.
task achievement
The letter maintains a polite and professional tone throughout.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your letter is logically organized, beginning with your intent, followed by the issue faced, and ending with your request.
coherence cohesion
You have effectively used greeting and closing statements to frame your letter, making it appropriately formal.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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