Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music
is an art form
that is
enjoyed by
people
of all ages and
cultures
from all around the world. Some
people
believe that
music
is a powerful tool for bringing
people
of different
cultures
and ages together. In
this
essay, I will assert that
music
has the ability to unite
people
and promote cross-cultural understanding and explain why
music
can do
such
a profound task so easily.
Music
has a universal language that transcends linguistic and cultural barriers. Regardless of their background,
people
can appreciate
music
for its emotional and artistic value.
For example
, during the COVID-19 pandemic, musicians around the world came together to create virtual performances that brought
people
together and provided solace during difficult times.
Similarly
,
music
festivals,
such
as Glastonbury in the UK, bring
people
from all walks of life together for a shared experience of
music
and culture.
Moreover
,
music
has the power to promote cross-cultural understanding and acceptance. Through exposure to different musical genres and traditions,
people
can gain a deeper appreciation for other
cultures
and ways of life.
For instance
, in the 1960s, the Beatles' incorporation of Indian classical
music
into their work helped to popularize and promote Indian
music
and culture in the West.
This
in turn led to a greater understanding and appreciation of Indian culture among Western audiences. In conclusion,
music
has the ability to bring
people
of different
cultures
and ages together by transcending linguistic and cultural barriers and promoting cross-cultural understanding. It is expected that
this
powerful media would be used to unite the world and eliminate our differences.
Submitted by dentdent4 on

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coherence cohesion
Be sure to maintain a logical structure throughout your essay. It's essential that your essay has a clear and natural progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion, with each paragraph logically following from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are critical components of your essay. They should clearly state your position and summarise the main points, respectively. Your introduction effectively sets the context for the discussion, and your conclusion aptly summarises the arguments presented.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with relevant examples or evidence. While your essay did include examples, you could enhance your essay further by providing more specific evidence or by drawing on a wider range of examples to support your points.
task achievement
Ensure your response is complete and fully addresses the task. Your essay has successfully covered the topic by stating an opinion and providing a rationale.
task achievement
Ideas should be clear and comprehensive throughout the essay. You have articulated your ideas effectively, making it easy to understand your position and argument.
task achievement
Always provide relevant and specific examples to enhance your argument. You have provided some examples, such as the virtual performances during COVID-19 and the Beatles' influence, which support your argument. To improve, try to incorporate a more varied range of examples and ensure that they directly support the points being made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal language
  • evoke
  • connect
  • diverse audiences
  • cultural exchange
  • generational gaps
  • shared experiences
  • unifying force
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