IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that technology is making people more socially isolated, while others think it is helping people connect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, technology has transformed the way
people
Use synonyms
 communicate.
While
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 some argue that digital tools have made socialising easier and frequent, others claim that they have reduced individuals' social skills.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and explain why I support the former viewpoint. On the one hand, I agree with those who advocate that the internet has made
people
Use synonyms
 more social than ever before. The advances in technology have produced numerous tools, including instant messaging apps, video call applications, and social networking platforms, all of which encourage individuals to socialise more.
For example
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, most migrants depend on
this
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 development to keep in touch with their distant relatives, which was impossible a few decades ago.
Moreover
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, the internet can help individuals with specific needs,
such
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 as patients with a rare condition, groups with a terminal cancer, or even the elderly, by providing access to connect and support each other, which is considered an advantage that cannot be easily achieved in real life.
On the other hand
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, opponents argue that technological programs are making
people
Use synonyms
 solitary. They point out that online platforms lack face-to-face interactions, which makes conversations less meaningful. From their perspective, many youths prefer spending time on social media and playing online games rather than meeting friends in person, which can ultimately deteriorate in-depth personal relationships.
For instance
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, a 2020 study in the United States found that 33% of residents were addicted to social media applications, leading to an increase in the risks of feeling anxiety, depression, and loneliness.
However
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, these problems can only occur
as a result
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 of the irresponsible use of digital online technologies.
To conclude
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,
although
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 there are certain social consequences of using tech tools carelessly, I am convinced that they are more effective in bringing
people
Use synonyms
 together.

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task
Make your view clear in the first line and restate it at the end so the question is very clear.
coherence
Use a clear idea at the start of each paragraph. Use linking words to show how ideas connect.
style
Keep sentences easy and short. Check that every sentence helps the point you want to show.
content
Choose one strong example for each idea and avoid long, hard phrases.
strength
Clear view with two sides and your own opinion.
strength
Use of real examples to back your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
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