IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that government spending on the restoration of old buildings in cities should be stopped. Instead they should spend the money for housing and road development. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, many individuals think that the high authorities should spend a large amount of money on building
roads
Use synonyms
 and new houses for citizens
instead
Linking Words
 of spending money on the restoration of old monuments. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion which
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain in upcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, there are many reasons for constructing new condos and
roads
Use synonyms
 for people.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they can provide a good lifestyle to their community by providing new-style houses.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the
government
Use synonyms
 start providing new and well-structured homes to their folks, they may spend quality time with their family members and
also
Linking Words
 the
government
Use synonyms
 get some amount of money in taxes which will be beneficial for the country's economy and boost it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, making good and new
roads
Use synonyms
 is
also
Linking Words
 beneficial for both people and governments because the good condition of
roads
Use synonyms
 prevents a number of accidents which is far better for human beings
as well as
Linking Words
 the administration.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 a survey conducted in India, the number of accidents has significantly decreased
due to
Linking Words
 the construction of new
roads
Use synonyms
, and many lives have been saved.
Moreover
Linking Words
, building new apartments and
roads
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 gives opportunities to unemployed people to work and fulfil their needs and dreams. Nowadays, in many countries, the
government
Use synonyms
 focuses on building new places for economic growth and giving opportunities to youngsters and unemployed individuals to work full-time.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India, the
government
Use synonyms
 has started to build new places like hospitals, highways and many more,
as a result
Linking Words
, many young ones get their jobs. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 having old buildings in a country showcases its national heritage and attracts tourists, the advantages of building new infrastructure are far greater for both individuals and the authorities, especially in terms of employment and economic growth.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples or statistics to strengthen your arguments. Although your examples are relevant, more detailed evidence can enhance your points.
coherence
Make sure to link your ideas more clearly, particularly in transitions between paragraphs. This can improve the flow of your essay significantly.
coherence
Work on sentence structure and grammar to reduce small inaccuracies, which can affect readability. Proofreading your work can help catch these errors before submission.
task achievement
You have clearly stated your position in the introduction, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence
Your paragraphs are logically structured with clear main ideas, which aids in coherence.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • historical value
  • architectural value
  • tourism boost
  • economic benefits
  • sustainability
  • job creation
  • property values
  • urban development
  • traffic congestion
  • quality of life
  • balanced approach
  • fund allocation
  • modern needs
  • restoration
  • preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: