IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

Some people think it is good for a country's culture to show imported foreign films and TV programs. Other people think that it is better for countries to make their own films and TV programs instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Technically , many people have different perspectives about films and TV programs . In my opinion , the country's culture it's one of
important
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
 things to
show's
Check wording
show
show examples
 people how they are .
Additionally
Linking Words
, movies and programs
helpful
Verb problem
are helpful
show examples
 to have information about
cultural
Replace the word
culture
show examples
 without
need
Correct article usage
the need
show examples
travel
Verb problem
to travel
show examples
 . technology
also
Linking Words
 helps to
knowledge
Verb problem
gain knowledge
show examples
 about different places
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, films and TV
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 in the same way
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
For example
Linking Words
 ,
Korean
Fix the agreement mistake
Koreans
show examples
 have
K-drama
Fix the agreement mistake
K-dramas
show examples
 it's
talks
Correct subject-verb agreement
talk
show examples
 about
history
Correct article usage
the history
show examples
 of country at the same time they
have
Rephrase
also have
show examples
 different stories about zombies,
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
horror , and
romantic
Replace the word
romance
show examples
. In short ,
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
 movies it's one of
important
Correct article usage
the important
show examples
 ways to make
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
show examples
 with different countries , and
balance
Correct article usage
a balance
show examples
 between
country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
 film and their own TV program .

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task response
Plan a clear start, middle and end. Say what you think at once and then add points.
coherence
Use linking words to join ideas. Use 'first', 'also', 'but', 'however' to show flow.
task response
Give two clear points for each side and then say your own view.
structure
Make an intro that says the topic and your view, and a brief end that sums up.
grammar
Check small grammar errors. Watch 'it's' vs 'its' and plural 'films'.
examples
Use simple and clear examples that fit the topic, not many off topic ideas.
vocabulary
Use plain words. Short sentences help to be exact.
content
The idea that films can show culture is easy to see in the writing.
content
The writer uses a real world example (K-drama) to hint at culture.
tone
The effort to share a view is clear.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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