Some people argue that the government should support the funds for the arts, while some other people suggest that the money should be used for public health and education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is true that people have differing views with regard to the question of which fields the
fiance
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funds
show examples
of the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
should be spent on.In my view, both opinions
should
Verb problem
apply
show examples
can be
adaped
Correct your spelling
adapted
under different situations. On the one hand, some people argue that the government should support the funds for the
arts
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,as we all know,it is
humanbings
Correct your spelling
human beings '
nature in pursuit of Truth, Goodness and Beauty.And art is one of the most significant
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of the "Beauty".So supporting the funds for the
arts
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can enable residents to achieve a spiritual satisfaction,and
then
Linking Words
it can
strenten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
their mental
health
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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,both
culture
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cultural
show examples
soft power and
militery
Correct your spelling
military
fore
Use the right word
force
show examples
are crucial to a country.Art is
also
Linking Words
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
important component of culture.So supporting the funds for the
arts
Use synonyms
can strengthen a nation's
culture
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cultural
show examples
soft power.
On the other hand
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, other people suggest that the money should be used for public
health
Use synonyms
and
education
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, survival is the primary need of human beings.If the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
overlook
Correct subject-verb agreement
overlooks
show examples
the medical treatment of individuals,the mortality rate will increase.
As a result
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,it will lead to
instabilities
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instability
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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a country.
Secondly
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,
education
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is very
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
for the growth of the next generation.If children
did
Wrong verb form
do
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not receive a good
education
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,the quality of
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation may decline.
Besides
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,scientific research requires the efforts of several generations
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Insufficient educational resources may
led
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lead
show examples
to the
sicence
Correct your spelling
science
development
slow
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slowing
show examples
down. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
supporting
arts
Use synonyms
can
strenthen
Correct your spelling
strengthen
a nation's mental
health
Use synonyms
and soft power,and supporting public
health
Use synonyms
and
education
Use synonyms
can be
benifited
Correct your spelling
beneficial
to a country's stability and
sicence
Correct your spelling
science
development.I believe that both views should be considered sufficiently.

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structure
Plan your answer with a short intro, two body parts, and a clear ending. State your view in the intro and end with it.
grammar/vocabulary
Fix spelling mistakes and wrong word forms. Check words like government, finances, adapted, strengthening, science, resources.
vocabulary
Use simple and exact words. Avoid long and hard phrases.
content
Give one or two clear examples for each view to show you know the topic.
coherence
Use linking words to connect ideas: first, also, however, in addition, finally.
content
The essay tries to cover both views and shows a personal opinion.
structure
The use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' helps structure.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • public health
  • education system
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • tourism
  • local economies
  • quality of life
  • essential services
  • community engagement
  • mental health
  • social cohesion
  • public funding
  • balanced budget
  • investment in arts
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