IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In recent years, the development of technology and changing
life styles
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lifestyles
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 have contributed to our
life
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lives becoming
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 more globalised. Some
people
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 argue that it is
beneficial
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beneficial,
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while
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 others think that it outweighs
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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. I believe that globalisation has positive effects;
however
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, there are some negative aspects. The internet has changed our ways of
communications
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communication
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 and
interactions
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interaction
show examples
 for the better. Nowadays, we
are
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apply
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receive
information
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 and get in touch with
people
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 from the other side of the world.
As a result
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,
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
 are able to meet new
people
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, learn new languages, and experience new cultures regardless of the location and the financial status.
For example
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, if you want to study in English, it is possible to
enrole
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enrol
 in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 university in
other
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another
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 country and study online. We are enable to
receve
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receive
 significant amounts of
information
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everyday
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every day
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 and live closer to anywhere in the world.
Furthermore
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, at a wider level, in case of natural disasters
such
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 as earthquakes,
tsunami
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tsunamis
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, and hurricanes
happen
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apply
show examples
, governments are able to receive the news easily. Even during the COVID pandemic, the internet has pivotal role in understanding the situations and finding medical treatments.
On the other hand
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, losing cultural identities can be a negative consequence of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalisation. Because individuals share
information
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 on SNS,
people
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 tend to misunderstand that they already know well about
the
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apply
show examples
other cultures.
For example
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, wherever you travel, you listen to the same types of music
and
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, and
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people
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 wear similar clothes. In conclusion,
although
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 globalisation makes us feel like our world is smaller than some decades ago, there are some advantages. Both at
individulas
Correct your spelling
individual
 and wider levels,
people
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 are able to communicate and share
information
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 easily through the internet.

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task response
State a clear view from the first paragraph and keep to that view. Add more strong ideas and more real examples to show both sides.
coherence cohesion
Improve flow by linking ideas simply. Each paragraph should have one main idea and a few sentences that connect to the next with simple words like also, however, for example.
language accuracy
Check spelling and grammar. Some words are wrong or spellings. Use simple words and correct forms.
viewpoint
The writer shows a clear view that globalisation has both good and bad sides.
evidence
The essay uses examples from daily life, like online study and COVID, to support points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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