IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others belive that some imformation is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Sharing
information
Use synonyms
 in order to improve knowledge is a good way on many occasions,
such
Linking Words
 as research, business, and even the academic world.
Although
Linking Words
 some people would not be open to sharing their thoughts, it's because some
information
Use synonyms
 is too valuable to be shared freely for them.
This
Linking Words
 essay will give two sides of the perspective regarding the topic.
Initially
Linking Words
, sharing particular
information
Use synonyms
 would be so helpful for the one who doesn't know
things
Use synonyms
. It might broaden their knowledge with just a simple statement related to their problem. To illustrate, a new employee wouldn't know anything about what to do on their first day of work, but, by just a simple suggestion from their senior on how to do
things
Use synonyms
 or task-related, their likely to accomplish their work even though they started clueless.
This
Linking Words
 example shows that sharing
information
Use synonyms
 about something is a wonderful way to help others. Moving on to the opposite of the preceding paragraph, some people might consider their words before telling someone about it
due to
Linking Words
 the importance of the
information
Use synonyms
 . They are afraid they overshared
things
Use synonyms
 that shouldn't be shared with a random person, especially for those who work in the government. Government employees tend to have a lot of
information
Use synonyms
 about what's happening inside the country, and that
information
Use synonyms
 is not suitable for everyone.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it would not be easy for them to tell something because of the urgency it has. In short, some people would share anything with you without any hesitation, and the rest would be more careful to share
things
Use synonyms
 with strangers. It's all about the urgency it contains. Talking about daily life, friends, and hobbies will be easier to share with others, but talking about
such
Linking Words
 important
things
Use synonyms
 is harder to get.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Response
State your own view clearly in the last paragraph and tie it to the two sides.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a clear plan: intro, view 1, view 2, final opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, next, also, but, so; keep one idea per paragraph.
Task Response
Give one or two simple, concrete examples for each side.
Grammar
Check grammar and sentence form; fix run‑on sentences and make subject and verb agree.
Structure
Two sides are shown and the flow is easy to follow
Content
There is an introduction and a conclusion
Ideas
An example is used to explain a point

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: