Many students graduate high school and wish to study overseas. Give the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.

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Introduction
The world has changed significantly. It is widely acknowledged that studying abroad plays a paramount role in society.
This
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essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, studying abroad has numerous advantages.
First,
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being involved in different languages and cultures is hard.
In other words
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, exposure to a new population will be beneficial. New cultures can teach the
students
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how to deal with others and respect differences.
Second,
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a new place helps in knowing
their
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one's
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responsibilities.
Students
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have to manage their limits in everything.
For example
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, spending money is now something they must understand.
Finally
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, studying abroad creates opportunities for better education.
Students
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can enrol in world-class universities.
Also
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, many
students
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want programs that are not offered at home.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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, studying abroad has some definite disadvantages.
First,
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some
students
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suffer from loneliness. They are far removed from family for the first time. They probably do not have any friends , and it takes time to make new friendships.
Second,
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they must make all decisions by themselves.
For example
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, they are now responsible for paying bills and grocery shopping. Financial responsibility is important in personal growth. They must even manage their time for everything.
Finally
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, going overseas for education is expensive.
Students
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must pay rent, and cover all
Students
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must pay all expenses.
Also
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, tuition for foreign
students
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is very high.
Conclusion
In conclusion, it is clear to see that studying abroad has countless advantages.
However
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, there are
also
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some disadvantages that
students
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must overcome.

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task response
You answer both parts of the question. To make your ideas stronger, explain each main point more fully. For example, say how a new culture helps students in daily life or work.
task response
Some points need clearer support. The part about paying bills and shopping repeats the idea of being responsible. Add a different disadvantage, such as stress or problems with a new language.
task response
Use more real and clear examples. For example, a student may study a subject that is not taught in their own country, but may need to work part time to pay for rent.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, two main body parts, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make the last sentence match both sides more equally. It should say that study abroad has both good and bad sides.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words to show the connection between ideas. You use 'First', 'Second', and 'Finally' well. Add links such as 'As a result', 'For this reason', and 'However' when you explain an idea.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating ideas or words. In the second body part, responsibility is said several times. In the cost point, 'Students must pay' is repeated. Combine these ideas into one clear sentence.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph follow one clear path: main idea, explanation, and example. This will help the reader follow your points more easily.
task response
You discuss both the good and bad sides of studying abroad, so your answer stays on the topic.
task response
Your main points are useful and relevant: new cultures, better study choices, loneliness, responsibility, and cost.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the advantages and disadvantages are in separate paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
You use clear order words such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', 'First', and 'Finally' to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
There is an introduction and a conclusion, which gives the essay a complete shape.
Your opinion

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