Some people believe that the best way to encourage children to have a healthy diet at school and some people believe that parents should teach them to have a healthy diet. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is debate over who should be responsible for encouraging
children
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to follow a healthy diet, with some saying that
schools
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should take the lead,
while
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others believe that
this
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duty belongs to
parents
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. I believe that both
schools
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and
parents
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should work together to promote healthy eating
habits
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. On the one hand,
schools
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can play an important role in shaping
children
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’s eating
habits
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.
Children
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spend a large part of their day at
school
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, so it is an ideal environment to teach them about nutrition.
For example
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,
schools
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can offer healthy meals in the cafeteria, include lessons about balanced diets in science classes, and
organize
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organise
show examples
workshops about the benefits of eating fruits and vegetables. When healthy
food
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becomes part of the daily routine at
school
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,
children
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are more likely to develop good eating
habits
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.
Moreover
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,
schools
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can control what
food
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is available on campus, which helps prevent
children
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from buying junk
food
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during
school
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hours.
On the other hand
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, many people believe that
parents
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should be the ones to teach
children
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how to eat healthily.
Children
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learn their first
habits
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at home, and
parents
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are their main role models. If
parents
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prepare nutritious meals and avoid sugary snacks,
children
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are more likely to copy
this
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behaviour.
In addition
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,
parents
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usually decide what
food
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is bought for the household, so they can guide
children
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’s choices from an early age. Unlike
schools
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,
parents
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can influence
children
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every day, not just during
school
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hours. In conclusion, both
schools
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and
parents
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should work together to encourage healthy eating.
Parents
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should build good
habits
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at home,
while
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schools
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should support and reinforce these
habits
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by providing healthy
food
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and education. When
children
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receive the same message from both their family and their
school
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, they are more likely to follow a healthy diet.

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task response
The answer gives both sides and a clear view. It fits the task well.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well laid out with good order. Use one idea per paragraph and keep each start simple.
structure
Clear view stated in the intro and final part.
coherence
Good flow with linking words to show contrast and sequence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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