Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

#variety #sport #facilities #gyms #people

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Nowadays,

although

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, there are a lot of sports facilities and gyms, we can see many

people

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suffering from

obesity

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Firstly

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this

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essay will consider the reasons for

this

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problem, and

then

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provide logical solutions for

this

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issue. First of all, today,

people

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have a sedentary lifestyle which means that many individuals spend a lot of

time

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in their office,

as a result

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this

Linking Words

trend can lead to

obesity

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. Another reason that can be mentioned here, is that these days, there are a lot of individuals having an unhealthy

diet

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In other words

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, they tend to consume junk foods

such

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as snacks, burgers, and pizza which are huge resources of calories.

In addition

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, nowadays,

people

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live a fast-paced life,

therefore

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, they do not have enough

time

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to go to the gym and do physical activities. One possible approach would be for authorities to set a

time

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in the work schedule for employees to do physical activity. A more feasible approach would be for authorities to allocate a considerable budget to companies to build gyms or swimming pools in their workplace.

besides

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that,

people

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can move away from an unhealthy

diet

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to a healthy

diet

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. They can replace junk foods with healthy foods like seafood and traditional food.

Finally

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, everyone should put some

time

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aside in a day for exercise. These approaches, if implemented by society, will certainly tackle the

obesity

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problem quickly. Taking everything into consideration,

people

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's lifestyles and diets have a negative impact on their bodies.

However

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, we can address the

obesity

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issue by improving our

diet

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and doing more exercise in our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Submitted by dayansabet on Fri Feb 16 2024

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task response

Enhance your task response by directly answering the question asked with more specific examples and evidences. Make it clear how the causes lead to the stated problem and how suggested solutions would alleviate these issues.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Transitions between ideas can be smoothed through the use of connective words or phrases.

task response

Your essay could benefit from more detailed examples and evidence that specifically demonstrate the issues and potential solutions you're discussing. Adding statistics, studies, or hypothetical scenarios would provide stronger support for your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Clarify your stance in the introduction and succinctly summarize key points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

Your opinion

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

In some countries, students studying in university live with their family, whereas in other countries, students choose to study in another city. Do you think the advantages of living away from homes while studying outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays many young people are drawn towards dangerous sports. What makes them so attractive? What measures should be taken to regulate such sports and minimize the risks?

Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？