Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

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Introduction

Nowadays,

although

Linking Words

, there are a lot of sports facilities and gyms, we can see many

people

Use synonyms

suffering from

obesity

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will consider the reasons for

this

Linking Words

problem, and

then

Linking Words

provide logical solutions for

this

Linking Words

issue.

Body paragraph 1

First of all, today,

people

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have a sedentary lifestyle which means that many individuals spend a lot of

time

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in their office,

as a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

trend can lead to

obesity

Use synonyms

. Another reason that can be mentioned here, is that these days, there are a lot of individuals having an unhealthy

diet

Use synonyms

In other words

Linking Words

, they tend to consume junk foods

such

Linking Words

as snacks, burgers, and pizza which are huge resources of calories.

In addition

Linking Words

, nowadays,

people

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live a fast-paced life,

therefore

Linking Words

, they do not have enough

time

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to go to the gym and do physical activities.

Body paragraph 2

One possible approach would be for authorities to set a

time

Use synonyms

in the work schedule for employees to do physical activity. A more feasible approach would be for authorities to allocate a considerable budget to companies to build gyms or swimming pools in their workplace.

besides

Linking Words

that,

people

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can move away from an unhealthy

diet

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to a healthy

diet

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. They can replace junk foods with healthy foods like seafood and traditional food.

Finally

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, everyone should put some

time

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aside in a day for exercise. These approaches, if implemented by society, will certainly tackle the

obesity

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problem quickly.

Conclusion

Taking everything into consideration,

people

Use synonyms

's lifestyles and diets have a negative impact on their bodies.

However

Linking Words

, we can address the

obesity

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issue by improving our

diet

Use synonyms

and doing more exercise in our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

dayansabet

Feb 16, 2024

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task response

Enhance your task response by directly answering the question asked with more specific examples and evidences. Make it clear how the causes lead to the stated problem and how suggested solutions would alleviate these issues.

coherence and cohesion

Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea that is expanded upon. Transitions between ideas can be smoothed through the use of connective words or phrases.

task response

Your essay could benefit from more detailed examples and evidence that specifically demonstrate the issues and potential solutions you're discussing. Adding statistics, studies, or hypothetical scenarios would provide stronger support for your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present but could be more impactful. Clarify your stance in the introduction and succinctly summarize key points in the conclusion to reinforce your argument and leave a lasting impression.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Despite a variety of sport facilities and gyms, people are less fit nowadays than ever before. What do you think are the main causes of this problem? What solutions can you suggest?

There are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the international music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have the opportunity to study abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

Many people believe that women make better parents than men and that is why they have a greater role in raising children. Others claim that men are just as good as women in parenting. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

in recent years, many small local shops have closed because customer travel to large shopping center or malls to do their shopping. Is this a positive or a negative development?

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is more useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.