IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

More and more serious crimes to be committed each year . Some people think that death penalty is the best way to deal with the problem while other people think different measures are likely to be successful

The
amount
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 of
atrocity
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in
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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 is very alarming. It has been increasing over the year at a very disturbing
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amount
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rate
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.
This
Linking Words
 led
to
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apply
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many
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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thinking
Wrong verb form
to think
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 that the death
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cost
Check wording
penalty
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 is the only solution to
atrocity
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,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, other
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 believe that
atrocity
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 can be reduced using different methods. In
this
Linking Words
 essay , I will discuss both views and provide my opinion on
this
Linking Words
 argument On one hand , many
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 contend that the death
punishment
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penalty
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 will decrease the
atrocity
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 quota
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 and promote peace and order . The main point for
this
Linking Words
 perspective was that the criminals will know that there is a greater consequence for their actions , and
this
Linking Words
 will reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
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serious crimes
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
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. A good example is the introduction of
of
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apply
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decease
Use the right word
decreased
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cost
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 in 1969.
This
Linking Words
 shows the effectiveness of the cessation
cost
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 because the
atrocity
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amount
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 has reduced by 20%
around
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nature.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, many
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community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 believe in a second chance for individuals , including criminals. They are of the opinion that different methods , like prison and
community
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, can change an individual and provide them with a double shot at life . A study was conducted in 2001 about the effectiveness of prison and
community
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 service ,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 showed that 80% of prisoners had successfully completed reform and are better citizens in
the
Check wording
society
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earth
Use synonyms
 In conclusion , even though the death
cost
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 reduces the
atrocity
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amount
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples
 drastically. I believe in giving
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community
Correct article usage
the community
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double
Correct word choice
a second
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chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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, and every criminal should have a second shot at life. The government should provide additional alternative solutions to the crime
Use synonyms
amount
Check wording
rate
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
earth
Fix capitalization
Earth
show examples

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planning
Plan before writing. State a clear view in the first sentence and keep it in mind as you write.
structure
Make one idea per paragraph. Start with a topic sentence and use simple links to join ideas.
clarity
Be consistent with terms. If you talk about death penalty, use the same terms and do not swap to cost or punishment.
evidence
Use real and simple examples. If you mention numbers, be precise and explain what they show.
editing
Check spelling and word form. Some words are misspelled or misused, which makes reading hard.
content
Attempts to cover both sides and give an opinion.
organization
Has a clear structure: intro, body, conclusion.
evidence
Includes some numbers and examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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