In some countries unemployment is high, so some people think that children should only go to primary school and not to secondary school because, they will not be able to find jobs in the future. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Due to
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the increasing unemployment in many countries, some individuals are of the view that they should not attend high
school
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, as they won't get any jobs later.
This
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essay completely disagrees with
this
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point because secondary
school
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education develops career
oriented
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career-oriented
show examples
approach in the students.
Secondly
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, it helps them to broaden their social circles.
This
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essay will
further
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ellaborate
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elaborate
my points. To commence with, a child studying in primary
school
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is not mature or smart enough to make any decisions for their future. They spend most of the time
in
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apply
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playing games or learning the basics. They are not even aware of their likes and dislikes, or what profession they want to
pursuit
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pursue
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their career in.
Therefore
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, completing only the primary education is not enough for students, as they are unable to decide
,
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apply
show examples
what kind of job they want to do in the future.
Moreover
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, in a secondary
school
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, there are some subjects that teach handy skills to children, making them
compatible
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capable
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to do
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of doing
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a
skilled-job
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skilled job
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if they are unable to find proper employment.
For instance
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, some secondary schools offer classes for cooking,
carpentary
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carpentry
, etc. to make students learn some basic skills,
cwhich
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which
they can
also
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use to earn money.
Furthermore
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, going to a secondary
school
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enhances the social circle of an individual. Youngsters get
opportunity
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the opportunity
show examples
to meet both like-minded and opposite-minded people, and learn to deal with both types. Apart from that, they get a chance to connect with some good professors and mentors, who can be torch-bearers for them, on their journey to get the desired job.
For example
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, I always wanted to study history in my early years, but when I went to high
school
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, my class teacher
help
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helped
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me discover my interest in science, and encouraged me to move forward in that field. Conclusively, I very strongly encourage the completion of secondary education by
the
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apply
show examples
children because even if there is a lack of jobs today, they will still learn some life-changing skills that will open other doors of employment for them. Other than that, higher studies
also
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increases
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increase
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social
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the social
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life of a person, and
helps
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help
show examples
them to find their actual area of interest.

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task
Add more strong ideas to back your view, not just one personal example.
structure
Make a clear plan in the intro and repeat your main idea in the end.
coherence
Use more simple link words to move from one idea to the next.
coherence
Put similar ideas in the same paragraph and avoid repeating the same points.
task
The essay shows a clear view that you disagree with the idea.
coherence
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
task
You give a real life example to show your point.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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