IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

As a part of their education, many students work at a company for short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantage than disadvantage to this?

#part #education #students #work #company #period #time #salary #advantage
There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of unpaid internships.
While
 some people believe that young people should only focus on their studies, I would argue that they should go through a free internship during their learning. I will explain my reasons in
this
 essay. There is no doubt that working without pay has some negative effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
students
while
 they are studying process.
This
 is because some
students
 who
work
 as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
volunteer
Fix the agreement mistake
volunteers
show examples
 will not get enough time for their homework or lessons.
For example
,
students
 have internships after they finish class so they will not prepare for their homework, and they will less concentrate in their classroom.
As a result
, they need to focus on study to pass their exam.
However
, it is worth pointing out that there are many benefits of working as a volunteer
while
 they are studying at university.
This
 is based on the fact that pupils can increase their knowledge when they
work
 in the real workplace.
For instance
, in Australia, many colleges provide internships for their
students
 who study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commercial cookery to
work
 at hotels, which can improve their knowledge and practical skills.
Consequently
, working as trainees can gain
work
 experience that can relate to their future careers. In conclusion, we can observe that working for a short time without pay is a great way to develop skills and gain
work
 experience for their job in the future.
Overall
, I firmly believe that
this
 action has more advantages than disadvantages in their life.
Submitted by v.mahatkomol on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Expand on your examples with more detail to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.
task achievement
Try to balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more equally to fully address the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
task achievement
Effective use of examples to support your main points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: