As a part of their education, many students work at a company for short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantage than disadvantage to this?

#part #education #students #work #company #period #time #salary #advantage

There has been quite an obvious discussion around the topic of unpaid internships.

While

some people believe that young people should only focus on their studies, I would argue that they should go through a free internship during their learning. I will explain my reasons in

this

essay. There is no doubt that working without pay has some negative effect

Change preposition

show examples

students

while

they are studying process.

This

is because some

students

who

work

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

volunteer

Fix the agreement mistake

volunteers

show examples

will not get enough time for their homework or lessons.

For example

students

have internships after they finish class so they will not prepare for their homework, and they will less concentrate in their classroom.

As a result

, they need to focus on study to pass their exam.

However

, it is worth pointing out that there are many benefits of working as a volunteer

while

they are studying at university.

This

is based on the fact that pupils can increase their knowledge when they

work

in the real workplace.

For instance

, in Australia, many colleges provide internships for their

students

who study

Change preposition

apply

show examples

commercial cookery to

work

at hotels, which can improve their knowledge and practical skills.

Consequently

, working as trainees can gain

work

experience that can relate to their future careers. In conclusion, we can observe that working for a short time without pay is a great way to develop skills and gain

work

experience for their job in the future.

Overall

, I firmly believe that

this

action has more advantages than disadvantages in their life.

Submitted by v.mahatkomol on Mon Apr 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea to maintain clarity and coherence.

task achievement

Expand on your examples with more detail to strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

task achievement

Try to balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more equally to fully address the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

Good structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

Effective use of examples to support your main points.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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As a part of their education, many students work at a company for short period of time without a salary. Are there more advantage than disadvantage to this?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Governments around the world spend too much money on treating illnesses and diseases and not enough on health education and prevention. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people work for the same organization all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organizations. Discuss both these point of views and give your opinion.

Giving children and adolescents pocket money is common throughout the world. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this practice and give your own opinion.

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent.  Discuss both views and give your own opinion.