IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think that the internet is terrible for both the individual person and for society. To what extent do you agree?

The world is totally different nowadays, especially after the
internet
Use synonyms
is exist
Wrong verb form
exists
show examples
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 agree that the
internet
Use synonyms
 is something good and useful for humans and
society
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, several
people
Use synonyms
 think that the
internet
Use synonyms
is affect
Wrong verb form
affects
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 and
society
Use synonyms
 in a bad way.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine my opinion, and to what extent do I agree abut that topic. I totally agree that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is terrible for the individual person. It is obvious that the communication between
people
Use synonyms
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
 less. The
internet
Use synonyms
 makes
people
Use synonyms
 prefer texting, video calls, and voice not rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
real acting and visits.
In addition
Linking Words
, the speaking skills
becomes
Correct subject-verb agreement
become
show examples
 less, because they do not use different vocabulary from their surroundings. By the time, that causes many depression issues.
People
Use synonyms
getting
Verb problem
are getting
show examples
 depressed because they are always alone with their mobiles and devices.
Finally
Linking Words
,
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 gives
people
Use synonyms
 a takeaway
information
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
Many
Fix the agreement mistake
Much
show examples
 data
included
Verb problem
is included
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different topics, so that
people
Use synonyms
easily
Verb problem
can easily
show examples
 get
many
Fix the agreement mistake
much
show examples
 information without any effort. By passing time, humans will not use their
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
, and that will decrease
brain
Correct pronoun usage
their brain
show examples
 skills
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 thinking.
However
Linking Words
, I do not agree that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is terrible for
society
Use synonyms
. Just the opposite, the
internet
Use synonyms
 is something amazing and helpful for
society
Use synonyms
.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 helps governments to
makes
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
 several projects to help
people
Use synonyms
 in their daily
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Many selling and shopping operations can be done
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. That
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
 the profits in different fields.
Also
Linking Words
, several deals and operations can be submitted by using
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. The airways sector is growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
because of the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
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 addition, the whole global
becomes
Correct word order
community becomes
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 as one
community
Correct word order
apply
show examples
, because
people
Use synonyms
knows
Correct subject-verb agreement
know
show examples
 each other in different countries.
Finally
Linking Words
, several bank procedures
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and money
transference
Replace the word
transfer
show examples
 can be done by
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. In conclusion, I partly agree that the
internet
Use synonyms
in
Use the right word
is
show examples
 something terrible for humans and
society
Use synonyms
. The
internet
Use synonyms
 is
damage
Replace the word
damaging
show examples
people
Use synonyms
’s communication skills, and their brain activities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is very helpful for
society
Use synonyms
, because it is increasing many projects,
makes
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 life
easy
Correct word choice
easier
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
and
fast
Replace the word
faster
show examples
.

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structure
Be clear about your view at the start and keep it through the essay.
content
Add two or three main ideas and give more detail for each.
coherence
Use linking words to show contrast and add connect ideas.
language
Check grammar and word form; simple and correct language helps more than long text.
content
You try to take a side on the issue.
structure
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
content
You note how the net helps society.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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