Some people believe that the best way to teach children to behave well is through punishment, others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

The best methods to raise
children
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are a topic
that is
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frequently debated.
While
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some people think that punishing
children
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is an effective way to correct bad behaviours, others argue that rewarding good behaviours is a more productive approach.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives and present my opinion. Parents who discipline their
children
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through punishment often see changes in their behaviour.
For example
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, when a child knows that performing specific acts can lead to severe consequences, he or she is more likely to avoid doing them.
In addition
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,
this
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approach might help
children
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understand social norms and societal boundaries.
In other words
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, punishment performed at home may give them a slight understanding
about
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of
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what
is
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apply
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the real world is like, as they get older and indulge in society, and learn that acting badly often comes with consequences from authorities.
On the other hand
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, rewarding
children
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can push
children
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to
make
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do
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more good actions. It is
also
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possible to say that praising them with small incentives or even verbal encouragement excites them to do good deeds. As humankind tends to value and follow their parents' orders when they receive good comments from them.
Moreover
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, positive reinforcements can foster long-term behaviour. To illustrate,
such
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a trend works on changing their internal values, which leads to practising what
children
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have learned not only in the presence of their family but
also
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in their absence. In conclusion, there are no easy answers to
this
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question. I believe that a combination of punishment and praise is the most effective method for teaching
children
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to behave well.

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task response
Task response: You cover both views and give your own view. To raise the score, add more clear, specific examples and explain why each idea matters for child behavior.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The essay has a good plan (intro, two body parts, conclusion) but some sentences are long and ideas can be hard to follow. Use short sentences and clear link words.
strength
Clear ending with your own view.
strength
Two sections cover both sides.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Behavioral norms
  • Social boundaries
  • Consequences
  • Resentment
  • Positive reinforcement
  • Approval
  • Extrinsic motivation
  • Intrinsic motivation
  • Consistency
  • Clear communication
  • Psychological research
  • Practical outcomes
  • Discipline
  • Nurturing
  • Behavioral psychology
  • Operant conditioning
  • Constructive criticism
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