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Writing Samples
Band 8

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction for all workers? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Nowadays, most people devote considerable time to their
work
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 during adulthood. There is no denying that
work
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 contentment could increase the feeling of well-being. In order to shed more light on
this
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 issue, it is necessary to know what factors influence employees’ career fulfilment and
also
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 how feasible the expectation of
job
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 contentment for
workers
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 is. There are three factors which affect
job
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 satisfaction.
To begin
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 with, a great chance of getting a promotion motivates employees in their careers.
This
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 means that if a higher position is achieved, the employee commands a generous salary to maintain a quality life.
Moreover
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, having the deal company’s policies
such
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 as health insurance, flexible working hours, travel allowance, or leaves could protect the worker's fundamental rights.
For example
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, a worker with a family needs to go to the office late because they must take their children to school.
In addition
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, a good relationship with colleagues and supervisors plays a paramount role in the working environment.
In other words
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, if the
workers
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 could get along well with their colleagues, a comfortable and harmonious atmosphere could be created at the workplace, and
then
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 the
workers
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 are likely to improve their working productivity simultaneously.
However
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, the truth is that the company policy is challenging to content every worker, and
job
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 satisfaction should not be taken into account for
workers
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. Everyone has different needs and achievements in their lives. In terms of salary, in the same workplace, some
workers
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 would like to
work
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 overtime to make more money, but others do not need to.
Furthermore
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, some employees do not act as supervisors, carrying many responsibilities and having heavy workloads even though the position has successful prospects.
For instance
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, most civil servants consider the benefit of working in the government to be a stable wage
instead
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 of having a beneficial working environment or promotion policy. As has been shown, different factors affect
work
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 content, and it is difficult to find that everyone is satisfied with their working environment. In conclusion,
although
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job
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 satisfaction is an essential indicator of happiness, most people think nothing is more important than making a living.

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grammar
Ensure consistent usage of plurals and singulars, such as 'deal company's policies' which should be 'ideal company's policies'.
support
Provide more concrete, varied examples to strengthen arguments.
coherence
It would benefit the essay to have a smoother transition between the body paragraphs and a clearer differentiation of points in the latter body paragraph.
structure
The essay has a well-structured introduction and conclusion, clearly laying out the topic and summarizing insights.
content
Good use of factors influencing job satisfaction, covering various important aspects like promotion, company policies, and workplace relationships.
clarity
Clear and logical progression of ideas, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
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