IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

An argument pointed out that if someone is speaking another
language
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 in a
city
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 where they live, social and other problems would be imposed. I would like to discuss what happens to individuals who are isolated and do not participate in society when they are unable to use their
language
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 to communicate. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 argument. When
people
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 immigrate to another
city
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, they have to learn how to speak the local
language
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. If they don't speak the local
language
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, they will not find job opportunities and will be rejected in a job interview. That means they cannot join society and live there. If they cannot get to work, they become poor.
As a result
Linking Words
, they will strive to get government welfare. That causes the government to burden these
people
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 by providing sufficient funds to them.
Furthermore
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,
people
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 may experience anxiety if they cannot communicate with other
people
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 in the same
city
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if the individual wants to buy food in a grocery store, they have to ask the seller questions in the same local
language
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. How can they not speak those words? They cannot buy anything. They would feel
people
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 are rejecting them and misunderstanding them.
This
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 causes they
have
Verb problem
to have
show examples
 a social barrier to isolation. The government can establish a
language
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 class for those
people
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 in need. If they learn the local
language
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, they can adapt to living in the
city
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.
Finally
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, I agree that
people
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 cannot use the local
language
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 in the
city
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, which would cause social problems
as well as
Linking Words
 psychological problems.

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task response
State clearly in the intro that you agree. Then map two or three ideas with explanation. End with a short summary that repeats your view.
coherence
Put one clear main idea in each paragraph. Start with a sentence that states the idea, then give a bit of proof or example.
coherence
Link sentences with simple words like 'also', 'because', 'but', 'so' to make flow better.
grammar
Check grammar and word form. Use simple tense and fix phrases that sound wrong.
lexical
Give a clearer example. Explain a small scene where language makes work or life hard.
content
The essay shows a clear view that language can bring social problems.
structure
Reasoning follows with simple link words.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • linguistic proficiency
  • cross-cultural communication
  • miscommunication
  • social integration
  • linguistic alienation
  • cultural dissonance
  • language acquisition
  • communication breakdown
  • interpreter services
  • language courses
  • bilingualism
  • multilingualism
  • language barrier
  • effective communication
  • cultural assimilation
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