IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

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In the modern era, there are arguments between people about the importance of
art
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classes
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,
for instance
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, painting or drawing to the children’s development like other subjects and it should be compulsory in high schools.
This
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 writer argues with
this
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 statement because
the
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of the
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benefit
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benefits
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 it can have on
students
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 like stress release or improving creativity in other subjects.
Due to
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 many stressful
classes
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 like
math
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, chemistry,
physics
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and physics
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,
students
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 need a place to rest after these
classes
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 and
art
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classes
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 are the best option for them.
In other words
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,
art
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classes
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 can be a perfect place for
students
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 to release all their stress.
Furthermore
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, drawing a lovely painting can
also
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 make some
students
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 feel better, and encourage them to study more.
For instance
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, many schools in Japan have
art
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classes
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 in their schedule, which helps a lot of
students
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 to rest and be ready for the next
classes
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. Another benefit is the improvement of creativity in
students
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' mindsets. With these
art
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classes
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 in their schedule, the student will be able to improve their creativity, which is helpful for their mind to solve many problems in
Math
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, chemistry or physics.
Moreover
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,
art
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 can
also
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 be used in teaching chemistry and physics which makes them easier to understand and gives a chance to make the
students
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 passionate about many subjects like
math
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,
for example
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, when applying
art
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 to
math
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 in the UK in 2017, the port portion of
students
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 who enrol in
math
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classes
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 have been increasing clearly compare to the
last
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 to years. In conclusion, having
art
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classes
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 not only makes student release their stress after many
classes
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 but
also
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cam
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can
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 make
students
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 be creative in other
classes
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.

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Grammar & Spelling
Ensure to proofread your essay to avoid grammatical errors and typos. For instance, in the conclusion, 'cam' should be 'can.'
Examples
Enhance your essay by adding more detailed and diverse examples to substantiate your points. This can make your argument stronger.
Development
Try to develop each paragraph a bit more, providing additional supporting sentences to enhance the depth of your arguments.
Task Response
The essay addresses the prompt well, presenting a clear stance on the necessity of art classes in high schools.
Coherence and Cohesion
The points discussed are relevant, and the essay maintains a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Examples
The examples provided, such as those from Japan and the UK, help in illustrating the points effectively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • enhances
  • creativity
  • imagination
  • innovatively
  • curriculum
  • mental health
  • emotional expression
  • stress relief
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving skills
  • creatively
  • cultural diversity
  • artistic traditions
  • compulsory
  • well-rounded education
  • academic performance
  • concentrate
  • attention to detail
  • persevere
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