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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
The line graph gives information about changes in
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of fees of three metals, which are copper,
nickel
Use synonyms
 and
zinc
Use synonyms
, month to month in the
year
Use synonyms
 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can clearly see that
nickel
Use synonyms
's
prices
Use synonyms
 had the highest
change
Use synonyms
 at the beginning of the
year
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
zinc
Use synonyms
's
prices
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
alterage
Correct your spelling
alteration
.
However
Linking Words
,
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, fees of
zinc
Use synonyms
 had the highest
change
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
nickel
Use synonyms
's
prices
Use synonyms
 had the lowest
alterage
Correct your spelling
alteration
. When we look at he line representing
zinc
Use synonyms
, its positive changes compared to previous months continued until the
mont
Use the right word
month
show examples
 of
january
Fix capitalization
January
show examples
 by declining to 3% negative
change
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 declining process ended up in
november
Fix capitalization
November
show examples
 and it became 1% positive
change
Use synonyms
. In line of copper fluctuated all over the process. In all months,
prices
Use synonyms
 of copper had
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 compared to
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
 month
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, besides
show examples
besides of
Change preposition
except for
show examples
may
Fix capitalization
May
show examples
 and
june
Fix capitalization
June
show examples
. It was gradually decreased from 2% to approximately -0.5%. After that, it continued by obtaining positive changes from
july
Fix capitalization
July
show examples
 to
december
Fix capitalization
December
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 are around %1.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
nickel
Use synonyms
 had 6% positive
alterage
Correct your spelling
appreciation
 at the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, and it dropped significantly to 1% in
march
Fix capitalization
March
show examples
.
Next,
Linking Words
it has experienced
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 in
june
Fix capitalization
June
show examples
 by having -3%. Its process
goes
Wrong verb form
went
show examples
 with negative until
november
Fix capitalization
November
show examples
 and it had
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
change
Use synonyms
 by reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1% which remained steady until to end of the
year
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words nickel, zinc, year, prices, change with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 10 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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