Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education for the adult population who cannot read and write. Do you agree or disagree?

It is
common
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commonly
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known that youngsters are the base of
the
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apply
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society, and they are the future of the nation.
However
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, there
are
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is
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a
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an
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educational gap between the population,
especailly
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especially
in
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among
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the
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apply
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adult
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adults
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people
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apply
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.
This
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leads to
having
Verb problem
apply
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a number of them not having the ability to read or write.
Consequently
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,
this
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put pressure on
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the governement
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governement
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government
to decide whether
putting
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to put
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the larger spending on
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the youngers
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youngers
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younger
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or
adults
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. It is
necessity
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necessary
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that
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youngers
Use the right word
young people
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have
the
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a
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big budget. One reason is that
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youngers
Check wording
the young
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are the base of the country. In order to make the outputs better, government needs to put addtitional care on
youngers
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. Another reason is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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outputs of
adults
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are obviously less than the outputs of
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Correct article usage
the youngers
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youngers
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younger
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. Even though governments make the process of
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adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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education better, it will not
be
Verb problem
have
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significant results on the state of
the
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apply
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society,
In
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apply
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spite
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despite
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of
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apply
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enhancing the quality of
Check wording
young people's
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youngers
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education. In conclusion, with having two layers of society:
adults
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and
youngers
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,
youngers
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are the worthy of having the lion's share of the budget of the government.

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grammar
Fix many grammar and form errors to make the text easy to read.
vocabulary
Use 'young people' and 'adults' instead of 'youngers' and 'adult people'.
structure
Make one clear reason in each paragraph and add a topic sentence in the intro.
coherence
Link ideas with simple ties like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'therefore'.
grammar
Check spelling and word form, and keep sentences short.
content
The writer takes a clear view that money should go more to young people.
structure
There is a four-part structure (intro, two bodies, conclusion).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • young people
  • government
  • money
  • adult population
  • read
  • write
  • development
  • nation
  • improve
  • quality of life
  • investing
  • reduced
  • poverty
  • income inequality
  • funds
  • balancing
  • budget allocation
  • crucial
  • equal access
  • opportunities
  • promoting
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • positive effects
  • society
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