IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Education for young people is important in many countries. However, some people think that the government should spend more money on education for the adult population who cannot read and write. Do you agree or disagree?

It is
common
Replace the word
commonly
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 known that youngsters are the base of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society, and they are the future of the nation.
However
Linking Words
, there
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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a
Correct article usage
an
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 educational gap between the population,
especailly
Correct your spelling
especially
in
Change preposition
among
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
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people
Check wording
apply
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.
This
Linking Words
 leads to
having
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a number of them not having the ability to read or write.
Consequently
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,
this
Linking Words
 put pressure on
Correct article usage
the governement
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governement
Correct your spelling
government
 to decide whether
putting
Wrong verb form
to put
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 the larger spending on
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the youngers
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youngers
Use the right word
younger
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 or
adults
Use synonyms
. It is
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
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 that
Use synonyms
youngers
Use the right word
young people
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 have
the
Correct article usage
a
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 big budget. One reason is that
Use synonyms
youngers
Check wording
the young
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 are the base of the country. In order to make the outputs better, government needs to put addtitional care on
youngers
Use synonyms
. Another reason is
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 outputs of
adults
Use synonyms
 are obviously less than the outputs of
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the youngers
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youngers
Use the right word
younger
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. Even though governments make the process of
Use synonyms
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
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 education better, it will not
be
Verb problem
have
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 significant results on the state of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society,
In
Change preposition
apply
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spite
Use the right word
despite
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of
Change preposition
apply
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enhancing the quality of
Check wording
young people's
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youngers
Use synonyms
 education. In conclusion, with having two layers of society:
adults
Use synonyms
 and
youngers
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,
youngers
Use synonyms
 are the worthy of having the lion's share of the budget of the government.

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grammar
Fix many grammar and form errors to make the text easy to read.
vocabulary
Use 'young people' and 'adults' instead of 'youngers' and 'adult people'.
structure
Make one clear reason in each paragraph and add a topic sentence in the intro.
coherence
Link ideas with simple ties like 'first', 'also', 'but', 'therefore'.
grammar
Check spelling and word form, and keep sentences short.
content
The writer takes a clear view that money should go more to young people.
structure
There is a four-part structure (intro, two bodies, conclusion).
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • education
  • young people
  • government
  • money
  • adult population
  • read
  • write
  • development
  • nation
  • improve
  • quality of life
  • investing
  • reduced
  • poverty
  • income inequality
  • funds
  • balancing
  • budget allocation
  • crucial
  • equal access
  • opportunities
  • promoting
  • literacy
  • numeracy
  • positive effects
  • society
What to do next:
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