IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Even though globalization affects the world’s economics in a very positive way, its negative side should not be forgotten. Discuss.

There is no denying that
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 has undoubtedly contributed to the improvement of the world's economy.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 has had a positive impact on the economy, there is
also
Linking Words
 a statement that it comes loaded with negatives. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss the negative and positive sides of
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, international integration is important for the development of successful businesses. As more factories are being built for production, many job opportunities are generated, which has
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
 effect on lowering unemployment.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is a possibility that citizens
live
Verb problem
will live
show examples
 a better life with affordable prices.
This
Linking Words
 might lead to an increase in living standards to an even greater degree. As a matter of fact, many great countries might face famine or lack of financial resources without economic cooperation, and they would have
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
show examples
 time progressing in their economic development.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many environmental issues that are created by the expansion of manufacturers. In order to build infrastructure, people need to destroy forests, which pose a threat to many species' habitats. Almost all factories release harmful emissions to the atmosphere that later
on
Rephrase
apply
show examples
cause air pollution.
This
Linking Words
 is later linked to numerous diseases that affect the respiratory system of humans. In conclusion,
globalization
Change the spelling
globalisation
show examples
 has been credited with a big positive impact on economies worldwide;
however
Linking Words
, it still has some negative aspects, particularly in terms of ecosystems. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, it is necessary for the authorities to
further
Linking Words
 increase their financial resources by preparing for future phenomena that may occur during the economic improvement process.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Add a clear plan in the intro and state your view in the end.
coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph and use linking words to move from one idea to the next.
grammar
Check grammar and sentence form; fix notes like 'has positive effect' to 'has a positive effect'.
content
Give more exact examples or facts, even simple ones, to back your point.
content
The essay shows a good attempt to discuss both sides.
structure
The four parts (intro, two body paragraphs, conclusion) are easy to read.
content
There are helpful examples on jobs, prices, and pollution.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • world
  • trade
  • money
  • jobs
  • work
  • price
  • cost
  • good
  • bad
  • growth
  • help
  • hurt
  • more
  • less
  • fair
  • unfair
  • risk
  • loss
  • gain
  • rule
  • law
  • policy
  • country
  • company
  • market
  • demand
  • supply
  • time
  • people
  • life
  • use
  • need
  • this
  • that
  • can
  • may
  • should
  • must
  • also
  • but
  • global
  • economy
  • export
  • import
  • industry
  • education
  • environment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: