Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country.

There is no denying the fact that economic growth is essential for many countries.
While
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many governments prioritise economic development, others argue that
progress
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in other areas is equally important.
This
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essay will analyse both perspectives and present my opinion. On the one hand, the economy is the foundation of any nation.
In other words
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, almost all
sectors
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depend on a strong and stable economic base, leading to efficient
progress
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.
Additionally
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, focusing on economic growth can indirectly benefit other areas.
For instance
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, a thriving economy allows governments to invest in
sectors
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such
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as healthcare and education by providing them with the necessary resources to function efficiently.
On the other hand
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,
progress
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in other
sectors
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is just as vital. Supporting education, healthcare, agriculture, and technology not only improves quality of life but
also
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contributes to long-term economic success.
For example
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, Japan has heavily invested in developing multiple
sectors
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, which has strengthened its economy and positioned it as one of the world’s leading nations. In conclusion,
while
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economic
progress
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is undeniably important, I believe that a balanced approach that
also
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prioritises other areas of development is crucial for sustainable national growth. Governments should ensure that all
sectors
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receive equal attention to achieve long-term success and stability.

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coherence
Use more topic sentences to guide each paragraph and show one clear main idea in each part.
task
Add more detail to each idea and give more proof or example to deepen argument.
task
Keep a clear view through the essay and make your stance obvious in every part.
language
Check grammar and word use to avoid small mistakes.
strength
Clear view and balanced side given.
strength
Good use of 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show two sides.
strength
A real example (Japan) used to back a point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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