IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries, online shopping is becoming more and more popular. Some people think that this is having a negative impact on society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Online shopping has become increasingly popular in many places around the world. Some individuals believe that
this
Linking Words
 new way of buying has negative impacts on society. I am convinced that despite the convenience of shopping from home, online purchases must be regulated on the digital market.
To begin
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 with,
we
Fix capitalization
We
show examples
 all know how convenient and easy it is to shop from the comfort of your home, especially if the service has the guarantees and speed that
corresponds
Correct subject-verb agreement
correspond
show examples
.
However
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, many customers claim that there is a legal vacuum in these services
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 some do not have clear regulations at the moment of changing or
canceling
Change the spelling
cancelling
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 a purchase.
For instance
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 , PC Factory received thousands of complaints and was fined for its inability to resolve these issues, leaving thousands of customers dissatisfied.
On the other hand
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,
to
Fix capitalization
To
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 maintain fair competition with physical
stores
Use synonyms
, online
stores
Use synonyms
 should pay taxes or other fees. Large city municipalities collect a large amount of money through fees paid by established
stores
Use synonyms
,
not to mention
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 the cost of procedures, permits, etc.
For example
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, it is estimated that around 40% of established
stores
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 go bankrupt
due to
Linking Words
 their inability to pay rent, permits and
patents
Check wording
taxes
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 many online
stores
Use synonyms
 that start up evade certain regulations or do not declare all their profits.
To conclude
Linking Words
, online
stores
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 must be regulated and
controled
Correct your spelling
controlled
 to ensure consumer rights,
in addition
Linking Words
 to establishing taxes to compete more fairly in the market with other types of
stores
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make your view clear from the start and add more strong proof for each point to show you fully agree.
coherence
Use more simple links to join ideas. Each paragraph should hold one main idea and be tied to the next with smooth words.
task
The essay shows a clear wish to regulate online shopping.
coherence
Plan words like To begin with and To conclude show a plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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